Yesterday and today have both been seriously depressing.
I'm exhausted.
There are times that I don't know how to make myself happy.
I'm angry for several reasons. One reason is my dogs. Our house stinks so bad. It has been cleaned a few times the past few weeks but the stench is not rid. It adds on to my depression.
I don't want to kill my dogs either to resolve this.
I think some people are lightening up by being a little mean to me or picking on me. Some sincerity after all. Not that the meanness before was totally fake. Some of it was totally fake and bullshit. But there are even various types of snowflakes with types of being mean.
Today's mean seems sincere.
I'm exhausted. I think some people are either on ends where its best to be brutal or avoid hurting me at all. Compared to other hates and crueleties it does seem some people are softening up. I still feel I have a lot of misunderstandings and things I don't know. I can't completely feel comfortable or let loose with some people because of it.
Maybe some things take more time or I will eventually find another way in life.
thinking of Dane............
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