Awful Burmuda Day

I can't always clearly translate everything.

I'll start with Dane. He has now gone into Bruce Almighty or Obi One Canobi mode: may the force be with me. I can't officially reach him anymore but I have a feeling he can still see over me. So, I can reach him somehow without really being direct. This has happened before and I've hated it so much. I really hate the matrix and the system at this time.
Still mixed signals with him. I will have to remain in my beagle turmoil for awhile.

Next is Trump's roast. I know I am angry. I had a pretty straight face with a few smiles through the whole thing. Dane's foodstamp was obvious, but I can't recall the other person he looks like. I really feel bad when I have to speak out loud like this sometimes, but capitalism is so confusing and if people love it so much, I'm sure they don't mind. He is still a snowflake anyway. Urban capitalist snowflake. Maggie being the usual sadist. And Megan Fox. I still have my issues. I have not forgotten about previous secrets about American Indian Heritage. Not saying I am her mail order bride or groom at all. It was stories told by Jon and that one common ground we both have is that we're wild indians. Her main issues have not really been over ancestry; it is the reason I have been hateful for the issues that are focused on.
In a crazy way, I feel the question is being begged from me concerning capitalism, Trump, and people associated involved with him. He got the roast and it seems like another shifting of punishment is occuring. More pressure. I really would prefer to keep my silence through most of it. The reasons are that I understand things that I don't know. The reasons that even though I have a hate for the breadwinner, there is still some earned respect there that I will hardly ever mention because I know how some people can take advantage and to the extreme of a simple compliment. It is a difficult time of humbleness on all ends. Breadwinners shouldn't be lawless, but at the same time they should still have human rights and protection. As for the poor, they should be calm and not freak out. They should remember that sometimes, it is good to keep some kind of balance of fairness and equality even though they don't make what the breadwinner makes. It would be wrong for the country to be steered into an extremeness of poverty and wealth where there is hardly any middle class. Where it really would be tyranny in the end.
I think there are some people who really want to hate and blame me personally over greed.
I have an understanding of myself. I'm not particularly answering to Megan Fox, but the general public who does have endless bickerings over being serious and having labels of hypocrisy.
I really feel pushed, pulled, and threatened into a lot of things. I feel my life and other people's lives are on the line. While I really do not have the ability to carry the world; I really feel the need to involve myself or say some things sometimes. This is a time where after I've already demanded that people see my reality and down to earth life for what it is; that I want to say it all over again and be seriously demanding to have my reality seen for what it is. I'm not wealthy or a real life celebrity. I've already seen Simon Cowell's pressure of his new singing reality show. No, I'm not a gifted singer at all. But when it comes to some sort of fame or fairness, I still think it is an unfair pressure to have with the issue of credit and Susan Boyle. I see it more as one perspective that is part of the forest but am not convinced of entire reason or story.
I'm so scared for myself right now. I don't think its fair for some people to keep insisting on blame to say that I bring it on myself. I'm doing what I can to survive in this world. Because of knowing who I am and what I've lived through; I have such a hard time giving even the most alpha dog confident leader the responsibility of leadership. I hate having to fear for someone else knowing they are not an encyclopedia or computer that know every detail to my life, the communism I've experienced, and every detail of the world around me. It scares me to death for both myself and having to trust someone with control or responsibility.

Mike Jones is still in the scene somewhere and I don't understand what is going on with him.

As for now, I am observant and quiet. This reminds me of the time I got so afraid that I ended up in the hospital. It isn't over the dog either. It was that I was being threatened so seriously. I get confused with all of the Mikes. I have recieved death threats from some, and don't know how to look at the matrix and seriously believe that every man with the name Mike wants to kill me or despair me enough to commit suicide.

I really wish someone could hold me right now.