Awful

I'm feeling accomplished actually.
Whether I am neglected or acknowledged, I feel very accomplished.
It was an awful event to have to bring more negativity into the scene. I had to.
I'm sick of the denial.
I'm sick of the neglect.
I have not been to any family event in a couple of years. I may be alienated from my family, but, I at least went to a funeral.
I could have said the same thing just as well in any other setting, but because I have not attended family events holidays or whatever in the past couple of years, it was pretty much the only opportunity I could unleash myself.
I told both my grammy and aunt Lisa off.
The very second my aunt Lisa started competing with me and acting like it was me with the problem (I had shunned her earlier in the day), I told my grammy, "actually I'm pretty happy that they exploited you with Kim Jong Il."
My grandma walked away.
I then had to call my dad Hitler when my parents were aggressing me and then I sat at a different table alone with my back to everyone.
I later called people a bunch of retarded stalkers.
I still have doubts that I will be acknowledged but I'm glad I had the opportunity to make myself a little louder in front of an even larger audience.
I really wasn't trying to be the center of attention.
When it comes to standing and maintaining my ground, I have to do what I have to do.

I don't know if anyone will ever side with me.

I still dream of the day when I have the relief that someone will side with me.

Until then, I have to stand alone........................