Dear Anderson,
I thought the mattress and sleeping commercial and competition was funny. I want to let you know that while I may come across as extremely frigid, I really do not live to bicker, provoke, and ridiculously have an argument be neverending. It is the fact that I am aware of my communist environment and helplessness. Why would I choose a top dog like you over anyone more down to earth and local? Because I have already lost faith and hope and them, and their actions have not changed and still have not proven anything to me. I just know I can't win with them. I know them for the judgemental and impossible people they are. While they may not consider themselves as either religiously or self-righteously judgemental, they are still judgemental people who do believe they are supreme over me. They are also violently demanding that I be subjected to them.
I only know so much about some people and have picked up on some things with some people. I do not know who holds the most responsibility. It sickens me that these people claim how much they know me when they don't know me at all.
Right now, one of the first people I would be most suspicious of and be nauseated with the most is Joe. I have problems with 2 that I know of: the local Joe, who I am pretty sure is the ultimate source of Caporelli and Joe Flacco the Ravens football player. I do experience a lot of hate and discrimination and judgement from both of them. I do not consider either of them intelligent judges' of character. My hunch with Flacco is that he is a die hard for a few of the matrix Megan's, esp Megan Fox. They want me to feel inferior to her, and while I may not have the exact body of her's, they want me to be her want-to-be. They are very closed-minded in accepting that I want a normal job. I think they want me to be in the stripping or porn industry, or be a sex object of some sort. When I ignore or reject them, it is when they get violently vulgar and have violent verbal abuse and discrimination against my body. Not only am I not worthy of a normal job after their extreme systematic tyranny, I wouldn't be worthy of being a stripper either. They want me to suffer the most. They want me to feel "like a little girl" and "immature" because I won't be a stripper or hooker to survive. They really have their own judgement and persecution against me for being a conservative. They are extreme in judgement in pidgeon-holing and really are upset that they truly do not have control over my life, although people get away with lying all of the time. They hate Shania Twain's song: "She's not just a pretty face," and are especially desperate to argue against it when that song is in relation to me. I think the local Joe probably stalks me more than the football player Joe. While both may want to make my life miserable, Joe Flacco is too egocentric and selfish in his own career and wealth to have any idea of who I really am as a person. The local Joe makes every effort he can to dehumanize, degrade, downgrade anything and everything about myself. He also speaks badly of me. I think him and his buddies who I was introduced to right after I graduated and moved back to Maryland: Rich, Sid, and I can't remember the other names, are all loyal with my sister. They want to ruin and hurt me for the sake of my sister. I really hate that it has to be such a depth of hate with back to back with me and my sister. With how my reality is, I have no other choice than to have to fight her the way I do. They are extremely and disgustingly arrogant to a high degree with me. They are impossibly hateful.
Erin Wyer. I have not talked to her in such a long time. She would most likely present herself as both the good guy and a tough person. She has kept her distance. However, even as she would like to paint herself as the "good guy," she does subject me to her and treat me like an inferior. She may have it made better and have a higher education, but the price to pay of having any sort of dependence or help on her is asking way too much and too expensive. She does expect me to explain myself. She does expect me to be dependent and under her. She does expect me to put up with her abuse and judgement and be subjected to her judgement. She may offer to hear my voice, but my voice really doesn't have much acknowledgement. She is another person who uses Dane to gang up on me.
For some reason, Dane does gang up on me with a lot of women. There has obvioulsy been a lot of gossip and hate against me, and he has usually chosen various women to gang up against me with. Some of it is lesbian victimization games where I do want to violently slap whatever women are being arrogant. Some of it is just desperate and random talk to have excuses to hate and gang up one me for whatever reason? Recently, Dane obviously doesn't have my loyalty, but I just don't have much to say to him right now.
I could talk all day about some enemies. Right now, these have been my main targets of what I believe causes the oppression and communism that I am forced to deal with.
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