This week has already had some times and events.
In adjusting to my present life and the future life for me and the baby, I have so many new thoughts to think of................
I have already stated that I am a person of leisure. I have also already stated that I am subjected to nobody. There have still been dozens of psycho paths to test me and provoke me. I remain numb to their gossip and judgement. I also remain blameless to various sorts of victimization which includes forcing me into another person's agenda to say I am one way or the other when the test is so invalid, unintelligable, and intentionally rapist. Even if I were to be intelligently tested with people actually asking questions and me giving elaborate answers, they still would not deserve me for the sake of their agenda. But, back to another previous but still different statement, I talk and elaborate at my own leisure and will. I will still most likely be tested and provoked by a list of psychos and haters and angry and stupid people. Nonetheless, the statement is out there. It is a shame when someone gives themself the credit or a dictator lets another person have credit for trying to rob me of that statement, but that statement will always be no matter what. It is nothing but games of provoking, victimization and dominion. There are just simply times that I am too impatient and I have to just say some things for myself because I'm not always strong or patient enough to ignore people.
Speaking of, with the way things are looking, I am going to have to keep on expanding for myself and the way I am as a person. I'm upset for both me and the baby that I am such a hated and harassed person. I hate the vulnerability I presently have to deal with. I'm upset for how hard it will be. I'm also upset that some people will most likely carry on more hatred by suggesting other options to do.
People have so many ways of acting and reacting and dealing with the hatred they have to experience in their life. While there are moments that I feel raped that is not always necessarily in a sexual way, I still choose to not let hate be the ruler of my life.
If people are reasonable within my judgement, I can work with reason. When boundaries are not respected, assumptions made, lies told, people demanding me to answer to their harassment and aggressiveness, I have to work with my own ways in dealing with various people and various problems and various reasons which to this day, I still do not always know about.
I am going to make every effort to make it known how leisurely I am amongst the hatred. I am only aware of things to a certain extent. It does not mean that I am an ostrich with its head in the sand; it means I am a person who will not be subjected to the hatred I have to experience in my life. I have my own sensible awareness which is kept in pride. I know for myself how big the world's population is and the troubles it has. I know life can be overwhelming. I also know that I have a life of my own where I do live for myself. I plan on making every effort for my baby to have a happy and TRULY free life no matter what anyone says or does.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Dear Anderson
Right now, you are one of the closest people that are capable of making a connection with me although you are associated with people I seriously have issues with. You have made a couple of good scores recently and I don't understand why you would make some bad ones at the same time. I think in some ways you are just trying to have a sense of humor to calm all sides, but I remain tired of the entertainment industry.
I continue to burn to have a job.
Anyway, you may have already been informed of what is happening in my life. I will eventually talk more about the near future, but I will remain vague in conversing with the media over it. While I am still a dreamer and want happiness in my life, my mind is mostly set in a sincerely cynical way with relating to Beyonce's character in "Obsessed." No, I am not married or in a relationship. Just because I am single does not mean I deserve to be denied of human rights or that it would be wrong for me to fight for my boundaries and against feeling violated and invaded.
I have a long list of people I would relate to being my Ali Larter. Some people I am blind to. There are communists that I can't see. There are architects (Matrix reference) that I can't see. Aside from the communists and architects are the list of people I do have a strong belief that are responsible for the communism in my life.
It seems my anger in relation to relating to Beyonce in "Obsessed," has been around a long time. There are people I have already screamed and complained about over feeling violated and victimized with. I will say it again regardless of how many times I have been ignored or will continue to be ignored. There will probably be people that I will forget to mention. But there are people I have been serious with who sometimes really do still provoke me or desperately continue to make me victim to communistic control. Sometimes, they aren't as aggressive and are desperate in a different path to say that it is I who is the "psycho." They cannot handle the truth of their guilt and do not take any responsibility. I am a scapegoat in so many different ways. I have been left without a voice and wrongly lied about and assumed about on many occassions as well.
Anyway the names of Ali:
Denny Williamson
Erin Wyer
Maggie Bell
Cindy and the rest of the ACC teachers
My sister Katie- who is always desperately at war with me in so many dysfunctional and desperate ways. We are not always aggressive. She does not know how to take no for an answer. She wants to call me the control freak and deny what my voice really is.
Stacy Adams (who may have a different last name)
Jim (?)
The Kardashians
Dane Cook
Kate Hudson
The Today Show.-Although there have been some positive times we have; they still denied my personal boundaries. They will want to use the past times we shared with each other against me to say that I am willing and that they still deserve to invade and violate my boundaries after I have said no.
A list of capitalists that I can't see.
A list of communists that I can't see.
My aunt Lisa.
My grandmother.
It is hard to say with the rest of my extended family. I do not think they understand me as a person and I also think that they do not understand how to comprehend my neverending battle of ending "Obsessed."
It is distant and dysfunctional with my parents but they financially support me.
I continue to burn to have a job.
Anyway, you may have already been informed of what is happening in my life. I will eventually talk more about the near future, but I will remain vague in conversing with the media over it. While I am still a dreamer and want happiness in my life, my mind is mostly set in a sincerely cynical way with relating to Beyonce's character in "Obsessed." No, I am not married or in a relationship. Just because I am single does not mean I deserve to be denied of human rights or that it would be wrong for me to fight for my boundaries and against feeling violated and invaded.
I have a long list of people I would relate to being my Ali Larter. Some people I am blind to. There are communists that I can't see. There are architects (Matrix reference) that I can't see. Aside from the communists and architects are the list of people I do have a strong belief that are responsible for the communism in my life.
It seems my anger in relation to relating to Beyonce in "Obsessed," has been around a long time. There are people I have already screamed and complained about over feeling violated and victimized with. I will say it again regardless of how many times I have been ignored or will continue to be ignored. There will probably be people that I will forget to mention. But there are people I have been serious with who sometimes really do still provoke me or desperately continue to make me victim to communistic control. Sometimes, they aren't as aggressive and are desperate in a different path to say that it is I who is the "psycho." They cannot handle the truth of their guilt and do not take any responsibility. I am a scapegoat in so many different ways. I have been left without a voice and wrongly lied about and assumed about on many occassions as well.
Anyway the names of Ali:
Denny Williamson
Erin Wyer
Maggie Bell
Cindy and the rest of the ACC teachers
My sister Katie- who is always desperately at war with me in so many dysfunctional and desperate ways. We are not always aggressive. She does not know how to take no for an answer. She wants to call me the control freak and deny what my voice really is.
Stacy Adams (who may have a different last name)
Jim (?)
The Kardashians
Dane Cook
Kate Hudson
The Today Show.-Although there have been some positive times we have; they still denied my personal boundaries. They will want to use the past times we shared with each other against me to say that I am willing and that they still deserve to invade and violate my boundaries after I have said no.
A list of capitalists that I can't see.
A list of communists that I can't see.
My aunt Lisa.
My grandmother.
It is hard to say with the rest of my extended family. I do not think they understand me as a person and I also think that they do not understand how to comprehend my neverending battle of ending "Obsessed."
It is distant and dysfunctional with my parents but they financially support me.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
A Couple of Thoughts
Last night, it could have been a spur of the moment rescue by Ashton Kutcher with his ability to be in the know; or it could have been a coincidence. The name Bridget which (Bridget Jones Diary) I presently and in the past have felt relatable feelings with. Of course we have different stories and backgrounds.
Anyway, I did not watch the full show. With the way some things have been and some things I've noticed, I've kept my distance. If I were to guess at his character, I would guess he would be representing Josh. He could be representing other people, and if I guess again or even with Josh, the answer is no. I do laugh at some of the comedy, but it is not meant to be taken the wrong way. My perspective of Josh is all in his motive. I don't take it with sincerity at all. I would look at it as his attempts to have pity on me. While the scene does not portray me as the underdog, he has his own way of shifting the picture to make it look like he is desperate for me to say he wants his influence to show he feels I am worthy and other people should feel the same. It isn't that he loves me, it is part of his own pride as a man. He does like to feel like a white knight sometimes or heroic. He can't stand the way some people would look at me or the things people would say, so out of his pity, he would paint a lie. It is codependency if he were to expect something from me in his attempts to popularize me or personally treasure me. He could also just want something that is severely impossible in a very personal way between him and I. He is after the challenge, the conquest, in what is really a backwards way with the way he disguises his true motives.
I will say this one more time. I have already made several complaints about sexual correlation and the way people take me. I am not as gay or bisexual some people make me out to be. My focus has always been on men. I feel right now, my words are neglected and battered by aggression, chauvenism, and hatred by barbarians who are unwilling to let go of what they want and what they want to believe. They either hate how their aggression reflects on them, or they hate that they do not have the dominance that they want. I see it as an extremely violent argument. I do not think it is necessary to be gay for world peace.
That being said, with the way people take me in talking to men and women, guys, I am not sexually minded the way you are. I take conversation as conversation. I've already seen so many instances where guys have my conversations framed in the gutter of their own mind. It is times like these where I am driven as the cunt and prude. I really can be sexual, but most people go way too far with sexual correlations and how people take me and frame me besides just being arrogant.
Just because I agree, have something in common, or carry on a conversation with someone, does not mean that there is a sexual agenda to it. Because of the relentlessness of the aggression and disputes of others, I do feel sexually repressed sometimes because I get angry and turned off by assumptions made. Also, because of the way people gossip and talk, it makes it more difficult for me to naturally hook up with someone and show interest because I am aware of the way people assume about me and drown my voice at the same time. I really hate it when people do get away with some of their aggressions. They are not winners. There is no worth in their words.
Anyway, I did not watch the full show. With the way some things have been and some things I've noticed, I've kept my distance. If I were to guess at his character, I would guess he would be representing Josh. He could be representing other people, and if I guess again or even with Josh, the answer is no. I do laugh at some of the comedy, but it is not meant to be taken the wrong way. My perspective of Josh is all in his motive. I don't take it with sincerity at all. I would look at it as his attempts to have pity on me. While the scene does not portray me as the underdog, he has his own way of shifting the picture to make it look like he is desperate for me to say he wants his influence to show he feels I am worthy and other people should feel the same. It isn't that he loves me, it is part of his own pride as a man. He does like to feel like a white knight sometimes or heroic. He can't stand the way some people would look at me or the things people would say, so out of his pity, he would paint a lie. It is codependency if he were to expect something from me in his attempts to popularize me or personally treasure me. He could also just want something that is severely impossible in a very personal way between him and I. He is after the challenge, the conquest, in what is really a backwards way with the way he disguises his true motives.
I will say this one more time. I have already made several complaints about sexual correlation and the way people take me. I am not as gay or bisexual some people make me out to be. My focus has always been on men. I feel right now, my words are neglected and battered by aggression, chauvenism, and hatred by barbarians who are unwilling to let go of what they want and what they want to believe. They either hate how their aggression reflects on them, or they hate that they do not have the dominance that they want. I see it as an extremely violent argument. I do not think it is necessary to be gay for world peace.
That being said, with the way people take me in talking to men and women, guys, I am not sexually minded the way you are. I take conversation as conversation. I've already seen so many instances where guys have my conversations framed in the gutter of their own mind. It is times like these where I am driven as the cunt and prude. I really can be sexual, but most people go way too far with sexual correlations and how people take me and frame me besides just being arrogant.
Just because I agree, have something in common, or carry on a conversation with someone, does not mean that there is a sexual agenda to it. Because of the relentlessness of the aggression and disputes of others, I do feel sexually repressed sometimes because I get angry and turned off by assumptions made. Also, because of the way people gossip and talk, it makes it more difficult for me to naturally hook up with someone and show interest because I am aware of the way people assume about me and drown my voice at the same time. I really hate it when people do get away with some of their aggressions. They are not winners. There is no worth in their words.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Yay more pest control
~making things clear on my end, whether or not I will ever have a voice in this world, due to me being poor~
I know how some drama has gone recently. Because some people may be so stuck on themselves and egocentric, what seems clear to them, is Burmuda and abstract to me....
First off, I remain comfortably single. Despite sexual harassment, violent pigeon-holing, and obsessions of others, I still remain single. I may eventually find someone to have a crush on, until then, I'm very single.
I have been picking up on a few things. There has always been the regular harassments and sadism. One of these days, it just may click with the people who are too full of themselves.
Right now, the main hateful disputes deal with arrogant bisexuality and being fertile.
In the matrix, it does get confusing. I will only talk about the people I have the biggest hunch with: Stacy that (WAS IN A CHURCH YOUTH GROUP YEARS AGO), the Kardashians mainly Kim and Kourtney, and my ORU roommate Serena. It really does disgust me that Stacy has been arrogantly stalking me this whole time. I hate her. I hate her arrogance and "queen," mentality the most. I have been getting a lot of that sadism from her. Good for you that you made the popular list. Like you should have learned in high school, being pretty isn't everything, and just because you are pretty doesn't mean everyone wants to do you OR THAT YOU'RE ENTITLED TO FUCK WHOEVER YOU WANT. I AM NOWHERE NEAR WANTING TO HAVE ANY BISEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR ARROGANT ASS. None of them on the matrix list. I'm fed up with the arrogance, the provoking, the harassment of it all. I'm sure there are plenty of other people who would want to do you though, so no worries.
As for Serena, she was just a friend. If she got any other impression, it was never meant to be further than a friend. I think she is beautiful. But like I said, just because a person is attractive, it means just that. I hate how desperate some people are. Some men are simply perverts and it is only what they want.
There are very few women in the world I would even want to be bisexual with. I know people have been so obsessed with it over me. I would say I am 85% straight and 15% bisexual. I want a man. A man has been all I've ever wanted. Men do sexually harass, but women have been guilty of sexual abuse and harassment just as well. I do stay single when there is obviously no one interested in me and no one that I am interested in. Some systems would accuse me of rape, while I say I am being lied about and desperately hated on. I stay to myself. Often, I really do like keeping to myself. There has been so much hatefulness and sexual abuse and harassment lately, I am not desiring anyone. I desire myself, fuck you very much.
Next is the baby issue. If I'm not good enough to mother a man's baby, it is his choice. At the same time, nothing will break my stride (not meant to be catty towards one specific person)(phrase of expression) even though he has been in on some gossip (burmuda and still want him to get shot). That doesn't mean I plan on raping him or choose to not take "no," for an answer either. I keep a lot of baby thoughts to myself. When I'm ready, I'm ready. I am the only person supporting me right now. I'm even open minded to go to a fertility clinic or adoption. If I run into a man who does, than it is something that is personally and privately discussed between us. When I make my choice is when I make my choice.
I really hate that I have to have this discussion like this out in the open. I never planned for my life to be overexploited so much, to have to endure so much hate, and to have to deal with whatever comes my way in my time and my own decisive way.
I know how some drama has gone recently. Because some people may be so stuck on themselves and egocentric, what seems clear to them, is Burmuda and abstract to me....
First off, I remain comfortably single. Despite sexual harassment, violent pigeon-holing, and obsessions of others, I still remain single. I may eventually find someone to have a crush on, until then, I'm very single.
I have been picking up on a few things. There has always been the regular harassments and sadism. One of these days, it just may click with the people who are too full of themselves.
Right now, the main hateful disputes deal with arrogant bisexuality and being fertile.
In the matrix, it does get confusing. I will only talk about the people I have the biggest hunch with: Stacy that (WAS IN A CHURCH YOUTH GROUP YEARS AGO), the Kardashians mainly Kim and Kourtney, and my ORU roommate Serena. It really does disgust me that Stacy has been arrogantly stalking me this whole time. I hate her. I hate her arrogance and "queen," mentality the most. I have been getting a lot of that sadism from her. Good for you that you made the popular list. Like you should have learned in high school, being pretty isn't everything, and just because you are pretty doesn't mean everyone wants to do you OR THAT YOU'RE ENTITLED TO FUCK WHOEVER YOU WANT. I AM NOWHERE NEAR WANTING TO HAVE ANY BISEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR ARROGANT ASS. None of them on the matrix list. I'm fed up with the arrogance, the provoking, the harassment of it all. I'm sure there are plenty of other people who would want to do you though, so no worries.
As for Serena, she was just a friend. If she got any other impression, it was never meant to be further than a friend. I think she is beautiful. But like I said, just because a person is attractive, it means just that. I hate how desperate some people are. Some men are simply perverts and it is only what they want.
There are very few women in the world I would even want to be bisexual with. I know people have been so obsessed with it over me. I would say I am 85% straight and 15% bisexual. I want a man. A man has been all I've ever wanted. Men do sexually harass, but women have been guilty of sexual abuse and harassment just as well. I do stay single when there is obviously no one interested in me and no one that I am interested in. Some systems would accuse me of rape, while I say I am being lied about and desperately hated on. I stay to myself. Often, I really do like keeping to myself. There has been so much hatefulness and sexual abuse and harassment lately, I am not desiring anyone. I desire myself, fuck you very much.
Next is the baby issue. If I'm not good enough to mother a man's baby, it is his choice. At the same time, nothing will break my stride (not meant to be catty towards one specific person)(phrase of expression) even though he has been in on some gossip (burmuda and still want him to get shot). That doesn't mean I plan on raping him or choose to not take "no," for an answer either. I keep a lot of baby thoughts to myself. When I'm ready, I'm ready. I am the only person supporting me right now. I'm even open minded to go to a fertility clinic or adoption. If I run into a man who does, than it is something that is personally and privately discussed between us. When I make my choice is when I make my choice.
I really hate that I have to have this discussion like this out in the open. I never planned for my life to be overexploited so much, to have to endure so much hate, and to have to deal with whatever comes my way in my time and my own decisive way.
Friday, September 2, 2011
More of my side of the story
Dear Anderson,
I thought the mattress and sleeping commercial and competition was funny. I want to let you know that while I may come across as extremely frigid, I really do not live to bicker, provoke, and ridiculously have an argument be neverending. It is the fact that I am aware of my communist environment and helplessness. Why would I choose a top dog like you over anyone more down to earth and local? Because I have already lost faith and hope and them, and their actions have not changed and still have not proven anything to me. I just know I can't win with them. I know them for the judgemental and impossible people they are. While they may not consider themselves as either religiously or self-righteously judgemental, they are still judgemental people who do believe they are supreme over me. They are also violently demanding that I be subjected to them.
I only know so much about some people and have picked up on some things with some people. I do not know who holds the most responsibility. It sickens me that these people claim how much they know me when they don't know me at all.
Right now, one of the first people I would be most suspicious of and be nauseated with the most is Joe. I have problems with 2 that I know of: the local Joe, who I am pretty sure is the ultimate source of Caporelli and Joe Flacco the Ravens football player. I do experience a lot of hate and discrimination and judgement from both of them. I do not consider either of them intelligent judges' of character. My hunch with Flacco is that he is a die hard for a few of the matrix Megan's, esp Megan Fox. They want me to feel inferior to her, and while I may not have the exact body of her's, they want me to be her want-to-be. They are very closed-minded in accepting that I want a normal job. I think they want me to be in the stripping or porn industry, or be a sex object of some sort. When I ignore or reject them, it is when they get violently vulgar and have violent verbal abuse and discrimination against my body. Not only am I not worthy of a normal job after their extreme systematic tyranny, I wouldn't be worthy of being a stripper either. They want me to suffer the most. They want me to feel "like a little girl" and "immature" because I won't be a stripper or hooker to survive. They really have their own judgement and persecution against me for being a conservative. They are extreme in judgement in pidgeon-holing and really are upset that they truly do not have control over my life, although people get away with lying all of the time. They hate Shania Twain's song: "She's not just a pretty face," and are especially desperate to argue against it when that song is in relation to me. I think the local Joe probably stalks me more than the football player Joe. While both may want to make my life miserable, Joe Flacco is too egocentric and selfish in his own career and wealth to have any idea of who I really am as a person. The local Joe makes every effort he can to dehumanize, degrade, downgrade anything and everything about myself. He also speaks badly of me. I think him and his buddies who I was introduced to right after I graduated and moved back to Maryland: Rich, Sid, and I can't remember the other names, are all loyal with my sister. They want to ruin and hurt me for the sake of my sister. I really hate that it has to be such a depth of hate with back to back with me and my sister. With how my reality is, I have no other choice than to have to fight her the way I do. They are extremely and disgustingly arrogant to a high degree with me. They are impossibly hateful.
Erin Wyer. I have not talked to her in such a long time. She would most likely present herself as both the good guy and a tough person. She has kept her distance. However, even as she would like to paint herself as the "good guy," she does subject me to her and treat me like an inferior. She may have it made better and have a higher education, but the price to pay of having any sort of dependence or help on her is asking way too much and too expensive. She does expect me to explain myself. She does expect me to be dependent and under her. She does expect me to put up with her abuse and judgement and be subjected to her judgement. She may offer to hear my voice, but my voice really doesn't have much acknowledgement. She is another person who uses Dane to gang up on me.
For some reason, Dane does gang up on me with a lot of women. There has obvioulsy been a lot of gossip and hate against me, and he has usually chosen various women to gang up against me with. Some of it is lesbian victimization games where I do want to violently slap whatever women are being arrogant. Some of it is just desperate and random talk to have excuses to hate and gang up one me for whatever reason? Recently, Dane obviously doesn't have my loyalty, but I just don't have much to say to him right now.
I could talk all day about some enemies. Right now, these have been my main targets of what I believe causes the oppression and communism that I am forced to deal with.
I thought the mattress and sleeping commercial and competition was funny. I want to let you know that while I may come across as extremely frigid, I really do not live to bicker, provoke, and ridiculously have an argument be neverending. It is the fact that I am aware of my communist environment and helplessness. Why would I choose a top dog like you over anyone more down to earth and local? Because I have already lost faith and hope and them, and their actions have not changed and still have not proven anything to me. I just know I can't win with them. I know them for the judgemental and impossible people they are. While they may not consider themselves as either religiously or self-righteously judgemental, they are still judgemental people who do believe they are supreme over me. They are also violently demanding that I be subjected to them.
I only know so much about some people and have picked up on some things with some people. I do not know who holds the most responsibility. It sickens me that these people claim how much they know me when they don't know me at all.
Right now, one of the first people I would be most suspicious of and be nauseated with the most is Joe. I have problems with 2 that I know of: the local Joe, who I am pretty sure is the ultimate source of Caporelli and Joe Flacco the Ravens football player. I do experience a lot of hate and discrimination and judgement from both of them. I do not consider either of them intelligent judges' of character. My hunch with Flacco is that he is a die hard for a few of the matrix Megan's, esp Megan Fox. They want me to feel inferior to her, and while I may not have the exact body of her's, they want me to be her want-to-be. They are very closed-minded in accepting that I want a normal job. I think they want me to be in the stripping or porn industry, or be a sex object of some sort. When I ignore or reject them, it is when they get violently vulgar and have violent verbal abuse and discrimination against my body. Not only am I not worthy of a normal job after their extreme systematic tyranny, I wouldn't be worthy of being a stripper either. They want me to suffer the most. They want me to feel "like a little girl" and "immature" because I won't be a stripper or hooker to survive. They really have their own judgement and persecution against me for being a conservative. They are extreme in judgement in pidgeon-holing and really are upset that they truly do not have control over my life, although people get away with lying all of the time. They hate Shania Twain's song: "She's not just a pretty face," and are especially desperate to argue against it when that song is in relation to me. I think the local Joe probably stalks me more than the football player Joe. While both may want to make my life miserable, Joe Flacco is too egocentric and selfish in his own career and wealth to have any idea of who I really am as a person. The local Joe makes every effort he can to dehumanize, degrade, downgrade anything and everything about myself. He also speaks badly of me. I think him and his buddies who I was introduced to right after I graduated and moved back to Maryland: Rich, Sid, and I can't remember the other names, are all loyal with my sister. They want to ruin and hurt me for the sake of my sister. I really hate that it has to be such a depth of hate with back to back with me and my sister. With how my reality is, I have no other choice than to have to fight her the way I do. They are extremely and disgustingly arrogant to a high degree with me. They are impossibly hateful.
Erin Wyer. I have not talked to her in such a long time. She would most likely present herself as both the good guy and a tough person. She has kept her distance. However, even as she would like to paint herself as the "good guy," she does subject me to her and treat me like an inferior. She may have it made better and have a higher education, but the price to pay of having any sort of dependence or help on her is asking way too much and too expensive. She does expect me to explain myself. She does expect me to be dependent and under her. She does expect me to put up with her abuse and judgement and be subjected to her judgement. She may offer to hear my voice, but my voice really doesn't have much acknowledgement. She is another person who uses Dane to gang up on me.
For some reason, Dane does gang up on me with a lot of women. There has obvioulsy been a lot of gossip and hate against me, and he has usually chosen various women to gang up against me with. Some of it is lesbian victimization games where I do want to violently slap whatever women are being arrogant. Some of it is just desperate and random talk to have excuses to hate and gang up one me for whatever reason? Recently, Dane obviously doesn't have my loyalty, but I just don't have much to say to him right now.
I could talk all day about some enemies. Right now, these have been my main targets of what I believe causes the oppression and communism that I am forced to deal with.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Dear Anderson
I'll begin with the Gadaffi news piece. There is nothing really new. I havn't noticed any change. Whoever has been dictating my life has been hateful, desperate, and such a dumbass. It seems as if there are so many people involved in networking, it is hard to decipher who is responsible for what. Yes, of course, I'm not the only person who is suffering unemployment. But in adding on to more down to earth reality, not many people have comparably been taken advantage of in the media as I have. I feel like I'm constantly falling through the cracks and the injustice to me is constantly unnoticed while my dictators are desperately looking for more excuses to call me "inadequate," and failing to see how many fallacies, flaws, rigs, and irrelevance they use in their communism/socialism to dictate my life.
Usually, I am bothered by being expected to "answer," to someone. It goes back to how complicated I am and that there are some exceptions that I would work with. I deny that I am loyal to anyone. I understand quietness can be taken as loyalty, but with so many inadequate observers, that judgement is additionally flawed. I consider myself to be very on my own and alone in this world. Yes, there are times that I take action for some things, but I am completely on my own.
In a different state of mind, I think it should be encouraged that there are more askers in the world. I think the world would be a much better place if people would just stop to think to ask people and realize that people have a mind of their own and people aren't always on the same page. Unfortunately, there are very few people who are mature enough to understand differences in how questions are asked. There is a difference between a subjectifying question and a free question. There is also a difference between interrogation (where people really think they are asking and not assuming or pigeon-holing), and personally asking a clear and straight to a point question. There are just a number of things that should be encouraged that a large number of people are not intelligent or mature enough to handle. And another opinion, I don't think people are mature enough to understand the limits of their own emotions and making accurate and sound judgement.
Speaking of emotions, I have been getting so many homicidal emotions this past year. You may be trying to show a friendly or sarcastically friendly guesture with Snooki to keep things calm and break the ice a little. I really like to be taken seriously. You did a better job when you had Sarah the reporter in Libya. While some people would say I deserve more punishment for being homicidal; I say they are such nauseating pigs and I am very unashamedly angry for myself. With the way my survival has been rigged, I do see it as self defense. But of course, since it has been rigged, I will never be seen as defending for myself. I will be seen as the psycho who is "the most guilty," and "inadequate and needs help." I just need help in dealing with corruption, communism, and dictatorship. Whatever dumbass has been taking control of my life, I really would like to see dead. I have been abused in a number of ways in addition to suffering corruption in trying to survive.
I have faced a lot of discrimination in the workplace. Of course even at a CEO level, there should be no discrimination, but even at a minimum wage job: "Oh really? I didn't know I had to have a D cup in order to be qualified to have a job." There is so much corruption and gossip that it is impossible for me to defend myself. Some people are violently demanding in treating me as a "subject." Again, while no personal questions are asked, I do feel people make assumptions and judgement about me and jump to the most extreme conclusions without me even doing anything at all. I feel I am judged and discriminated against for political views, for class of wealth, for having my own personality. I am extremely belittled and underestimated and then thrown at the rocker "Pink," to be further sexually abused, coddled, and nauseated. It is the real truth that I have faced a lot of discrimination and even hate crimes in the workplace.
I am waiting to be found. I am waiting for my stalkers, tyranists, and dictators to be found and have the right person targeted and punished rather than being my stalkers scapegoat. I am waiting for people to accept that I have a mind of my own and waiting for someone to hear what I have to say compared to relying on other people's gossip and the things that they desperately and hatefully say about me.
As for Snooki,...................... It is nice to have a friendly gesture, but I am anorexic. I have actually only watched a few episodes. Not knowing how much I am connected to the show, I have referred to the show as another tabloid. If people are being sincere about Nicole being a codename for being a "hooker," that is denied as well. It isn't that I'm even out to get Snooki. If she enjoys her world and her life and likes herself for who she is, great for her. When the ball is in my court, I see it as another tabloid and strategy of agenda where people may be trying to make exploits about me for whatever purpose it is.
Regardless of how many extreme and desperate people want to control, exploit, and take advantage of me within the media and other places, I WILL NEVER BE SUBJECTED TO IT. Just because some control falls into the wrong hands, it doesn't mean that I see myself as anyone's slave. People may eventually get it. I have remained a person of leisure and to have occasional gossip, comments, and expressions. What is it I want? It was already mentioned in the paragraph right before Snooki. There is a lot of people who need to come down off of their high horse and get a little more real with themselves. I also want to live on my own, have a decent salary and a job, and keep beating some users and abusers off of me.
Usually, I am bothered by being expected to "answer," to someone. It goes back to how complicated I am and that there are some exceptions that I would work with. I deny that I am loyal to anyone. I understand quietness can be taken as loyalty, but with so many inadequate observers, that judgement is additionally flawed. I consider myself to be very on my own and alone in this world. Yes, there are times that I take action for some things, but I am completely on my own.
In a different state of mind, I think it should be encouraged that there are more askers in the world. I think the world would be a much better place if people would just stop to think to ask people and realize that people have a mind of their own and people aren't always on the same page. Unfortunately, there are very few people who are mature enough to understand differences in how questions are asked. There is a difference between a subjectifying question and a free question. There is also a difference between interrogation (where people really think they are asking and not assuming or pigeon-holing), and personally asking a clear and straight to a point question. There are just a number of things that should be encouraged that a large number of people are not intelligent or mature enough to handle. And another opinion, I don't think people are mature enough to understand the limits of their own emotions and making accurate and sound judgement.
Speaking of emotions, I have been getting so many homicidal emotions this past year. You may be trying to show a friendly or sarcastically friendly guesture with Snooki to keep things calm and break the ice a little. I really like to be taken seriously. You did a better job when you had Sarah the reporter in Libya. While some people would say I deserve more punishment for being homicidal; I say they are such nauseating pigs and I am very unashamedly angry for myself. With the way my survival has been rigged, I do see it as self defense. But of course, since it has been rigged, I will never be seen as defending for myself. I will be seen as the psycho who is "the most guilty," and "inadequate and needs help." I just need help in dealing with corruption, communism, and dictatorship. Whatever dumbass has been taking control of my life, I really would like to see dead. I have been abused in a number of ways in addition to suffering corruption in trying to survive.
I have faced a lot of discrimination in the workplace. Of course even at a CEO level, there should be no discrimination, but even at a minimum wage job: "Oh really? I didn't know I had to have a D cup in order to be qualified to have a job." There is so much corruption and gossip that it is impossible for me to defend myself. Some people are violently demanding in treating me as a "subject." Again, while no personal questions are asked, I do feel people make assumptions and judgement about me and jump to the most extreme conclusions without me even doing anything at all. I feel I am judged and discriminated against for political views, for class of wealth, for having my own personality. I am extremely belittled and underestimated and then thrown at the rocker "Pink," to be further sexually abused, coddled, and nauseated. It is the real truth that I have faced a lot of discrimination and even hate crimes in the workplace.
I am waiting to be found. I am waiting for my stalkers, tyranists, and dictators to be found and have the right person targeted and punished rather than being my stalkers scapegoat. I am waiting for people to accept that I have a mind of my own and waiting for someone to hear what I have to say compared to relying on other people's gossip and the things that they desperately and hatefully say about me.
As for Snooki,...................... It is nice to have a friendly gesture, but I am anorexic. I have actually only watched a few episodes. Not knowing how much I am connected to the show, I have referred to the show as another tabloid. If people are being sincere about Nicole being a codename for being a "hooker," that is denied as well. It isn't that I'm even out to get Snooki. If she enjoys her world and her life and likes herself for who she is, great for her. When the ball is in my court, I see it as another tabloid and strategy of agenda where people may be trying to make exploits about me for whatever purpose it is.
Regardless of how many extreme and desperate people want to control, exploit, and take advantage of me within the media and other places, I WILL NEVER BE SUBJECTED TO IT. Just because some control falls into the wrong hands, it doesn't mean that I see myself as anyone's slave. People may eventually get it. I have remained a person of leisure and to have occasional gossip, comments, and expressions. What is it I want? It was already mentioned in the paragraph right before Snooki. There is a lot of people who need to come down off of their high horse and get a little more real with themselves. I also want to live on my own, have a decent salary and a job, and keep beating some users and abusers off of me.
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