There are lists of things that piss me off. I could talk all day about just how many things there are in life that pisses me off. It seems that some people would want to make a living of it.
In one positive light that isn't the most positive thing in the world, are some shows that I watch. I was surprised last night when I saw what some people had to say. Like I said, there will always be some that dump some kind of shit on me, but I really was surprised by what some other people had to say.
On Louie, I am having a little confusion with the capitalism and shares. Does he represent one person, or two? There are only 2 assumptions I have. It was an awkward show. The last show I watched was awkward as well, and if I was connected, I remained anorexic to the connection. But the thing I appreciate, he treats me like a normal human being. I feel like I am being treated like myself even if the painting isn't exactly how I see myself. It makes me feel like the free, independent human being that I should be acknowledged and recognized as, and there are not many people who want to see me as being free or independent. My poor vulnerability is taken to the extreme where some people assume I am to be extremely dependent on them. Sometimes, I think some people want to know some truths and the feeling of release could be compared to accupuncture. Sometimes, the incompetence that some people feel trapped with can be painful and compared to an oil rig. I feel a little bad for the awkwardness and if there is embarassment. I feel a little embarassed. But, even if I don't completely see the entire story in agreement, I think it is handled cooly, and with more normalcy or down to earth.
For the character Louie, in one of my assumptions, I really am confused about his ultimate agenda. I have a hazy memory of one time of him hating me and I question if he is another person who wants me to die, or if in time, has gotten over it and has a whole new mindset or different route in life. As for being in a relationship with how the conversation goes, I would have to say I agree yes and no. I feel a little sorry because I don't know how awkward the straight-forward exploit really makes him feel. It is down to earth, yet isn't because of the fact of it being a catty exploit. I wonder why he calls me Pamela. I feel flattered and think it is nice, but after the simmed feedback, I have confidence in him that he has a lot of fish in the sea and plenty of good opportunities in life.
Wilfred. Nothing too eventful, but I had a couple of laughs in last night's episode.
I really hate answering to people with everything I have in me. For the millionth time, who do some people think they are?
I see how life is set up and can be framed for people to be suspicious of the love I had for Dane and how some people could assume I'm going for my sister's husband David. No David. With how socialism goes, I technically should be sorry for you and take it easy on you, but I'm not. Stop being desperate. I get you have a gangster love for my sister, but with the rest of the things I have to put up with, I'm tired of the abuse. I'm anorexic to all accusations and sexual victimization games that you and other dumb ogres are desperate to dump on me. I'm fed up. Dane may have similar characteristics, and I hate that he does, and I've already had my own personal reasons to hate him. BUT when I talk to Dane, I talk to Dane. He represents himself. It is from me to him personally.
Speaking of, I did see one article where a guy shot himself for his girlfriend. In the matrix, I really don't understand how it adds up or gets interpreted in my world. Is it Dane? Did he connect himself to Dominic Cooper and he bites the bullet of the bad man? I could be guessing wrong with who my Jordan is. I will wait for further confirmation. Usually, it isn't loud with men and they would rather be deceptive or lying. It would take time to make my mind up. But, I also remember some other things and I just can't let myself be so forgiving this time around. My predictions are that I will probably have to take a few more hits for my un-nurturing small boobs and be the inadequate one. I've been toughing it out.
There are still some other guys I'm curious about.
As for last night on Fallon, I did pick up on a couple of hints. I'm just not comfortable in going there with one particular guy yet. I'm already agitated enough at how many different forms of hate I have to put up with, including some judgement. I just don't have the patience for what I think he is expecting. I may eventually have a bipolar moment with hands in the air to say, "oh WTF" but right now, my heart really isn't set on letting myself go easy on him.
I don't know who my "Brad," is or how seriously I should take some kind of arranged marriage. I see marriage talk all of the time, but a lot of it is so far away for me to be seriously decisive.
Speaking of, I finished reading Angelina's biography. I thought it was interesting and learned some interesting things about her. While I think it is foolish for a person to place security in knowledge, I do have a little more peace of mind with some of the things I read about. I was bothered when reading about "Salt." I think she gave me an insult that I don't know how to take. Whether she loves or hates me, she's always been a celebrity that I've been a fan of. I think I recently read that her and Brad are officially going to get married in France somewhere. Even though she is extremely wealthy, I still feel inspired in my own world to keep on living through life. She had her own suicidal times and a lot of reasons to be depressed (but still plenty of reasons to be happy). I thought it was interesting to read about her relationships and gave me a little hope in my world, that it really is a diverse world. Sometimes, I feel stuck with so many closed-minded, bigoted, or desperate people, and her story is a reminder that not everyone is closed-minded. I think though the odds are different for me when it comes to actual financial class: not many people are really going to be comparitively fair with me. It is rare for some people to be fair to begin with. Even though I may have very little that could compare me and her, in my own way while reading, I felt a little less alone in the world.
I can't keep up with all media. There is a lot out there and there are various times where there is too much or too little. I also hate how the statement is taken advantage of where people manipulate it into their own slave labor.
I'm looking forward to this weekend. I'm anxious to make some sales and have two days this weekend to sell some of my stuff. I hate that I've been too broke to be making more, but maybe money and time will eventually catch up. Still looking for jobs and hate the feelings of despair.
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