Someone just say something

I have already been compromising. I have been sincerely and consciously compromising myself. I may not have compromised my entire being, but I have made some compromises. I've already said that I do not know how to not breathe......
I know with this transition in my life, job seeking is not the easiest thing to do or even available thing to do at this time. Maybe the big dogs, the big princes, the head honchos of the number of stockholmers really want me to be a stripper. Besides feeling the push, I just can't take so much inhumane treatment in workplaces. I can't handle the rigs; I can't handle the unfairness; I can't handle the way I am lied about; the arrogant and harassing people I've had to put up with; and above all else, I hate that people deny the entire reality and constantly reduce me to nothing. I just can't take it anymore.
I can easily see how hated of a person I am, but I can't see all of the architects or what their mentality or reasoning really is and what it could be trying to say. I'm probably already getting under someone's skin, but I've already said that I do not know how to not breathe. If someone is expecting me to say something; I really need a script because I do not know what I am expected to say. Say nothing and just be a stripper in about a year's time? I really don't know what is expected of me.
I do need the people who do know that they have the control to be more direct and straight-forward. If my entire being is once again denied as it has been, I would assume the answer is they want me to commit suicide or for me to find ways to play along with "their undeniable truth," that their architect mind has said about my being and undeniable definition of it.
I've already felt choked and suffocated and with how this isolation is right now; I just can't take it. I've already said mercy to a few people; I just don't know what it is that anyone wants. I really don't know.