Random thoughts

Today was another day.
A few good things. Some days are more exhausting than others. Today, I was more productive than I have been. It depends on so much any more and for the most part it is a bunch of trivial small stuff. Another good thing, I have another potential place for sales. Two places actually. I don't know if I will experiment with one or not because even on my poor budget, it is a risky expense.
I still havn't decided what I think with Anderson yet. I like him and I don't like him. He is another person that I don't always know how to take or who is really in control of some flying info. Sometimes, I think Erin and Maggie are around and I hate that he gives the impression that we are on good terms or are friends. He continues to damn me for some reason. I can tell he pays attention to me, but sometimes, I feel I am buried under so much talk and gossip it is difficult to decipher the things that are going on or what it is that someone may be trying to get at. Sometimes it does seem unfair. Other times, I keep thoughts to myself or have nothing to say.
With the anorexia thing today; I have never considered my figurative speech to be any serious joke with anorexia. I will most likely keep using my figurative speech. As for others taking any serious obsession to criticize my fitness or eating habits? I'm anorexic to that too. I couldn't help but wonder about the generalization of it all. It is as if there are some people that have their own secrets of their figurative anorexia and they are there to say they have figurative anorexia too.

Love life. It isn't something that I want to make super public or super exploit. I have a clue that I've made a slutty rep of myself and some days, the pill is harder to swallow than others. I don't think he wants me in much of a frenzy right now, but I can't help but be anxious for myself. He gives some responsiveness while I still consider him dodging a question by making it look like there is a response but still not getting at it. It is obvious that he must not care that much, but it bothers me that he would say that. It is to my offense. He is being impossible and having some close distance at the same time. He isn't fair. If I have to go through so many men and say the same thing time after time; I will. My mind will never change no matter who I'm with. I seriously never have believed in my past times that some men subjecting me or any other woman like that was serious. I have only noticed it in the past couple of years and more fairly in saying it is more often in fame but still corruptly mixed up in the matrix with other people. Concubinism without a literal marriage but with expectation to "look up to" or "answer to" whatever "queen" concubine there is. I think some men intentionally damn me to be single for the rest of my life.