Still Mostly Gone

But I have to acknowledge something that does matter. Personally, I still think it is ridiculous how much of an exploitive life and exploitive drama I have. It's not that I ever made the choice for my life to be like that and I'm still mad to this day that I don't have enough things that are personal or private enough. It's not me, it is them on that matter too. (And I still don't know the list of names of who my "them's" are) ... ? .... Anyhoo, if everything is going to be exploitive about my life, I'm glad that I was put out of some pain by getting more of my stalkers and harassers found out about. I'm not surprised that Brandon and Jeremy are the ones who are being looked at. Is it that they would intentionally set you up to lead me on, or you are in on it with them in their juvenile behavior? The media sure doesn't make the news come across that you are "with them." Brandon was my neighbor back in the day and I know how much of an intentional tormentor he was. He was the very first person I swore at and told to "go to hell." While I have a good idea of Brandon and Jeremy and what they could be out to do; I think there are more details that I'd rather not know. How much power and authority were they given over me? I'm already damaged and murderous at the way my life has gone to waste because of the some authorities and what the authorities have already done. Some things are better off not knowing..... While you gear to play it safer with me knowing you aren't out to torment me like Jeremy and Brandon, you're still not safe enough. You may drop it with the testing and the torment in wanting a bisexual open relationship, but I don't trust that you never cheated yourself. I'm not sure how much you could have betrayed me, but I just don't like the cheating game for what it is and I'm still continuing to give up on you. You have your own way of losing your interest in me and seem to not like the type of person I am. I'd rather be rejected than you try to control me. I probably have embarrassed you, but I'm really not sorry. I'm looking out for myself and know I have already had to deal with enough misery and knowing the things that will and won't make me a happy camper. While you seem to let go in some ways, you are shady in your persistence and cheating. I can't tell how much you give up on me or not. You look very persistent in some instances, and although you are persistent, you just don't have me won enough. If you wanted to keep the love alive; there isn't enough love from my end. I know it takes two to tango, and I am mostly walking away.