Memorial Day

Lots of random thoughts. Days with closed shops and no mail make me anxious. Still, hooray to the vets! I don't really have much else to say for the troopers and vets.

I am happy to have been enjoying a few good moments recently. Because of things I've said in the past and how I've been before with Dane, I do feel a little stupid for myself. Sometimes, it feels so difficult to let things go or simply let loose at all. There is a slight hate of paranoia of being judged for having some idealogy and said things, but I'd either choose to ignore or deal with it as it comes. I am also doing everything I can to have a "taking it easy," attitude. Who knows what will happen.

In other thoughts................
Business and Finance. I always feel it will be a difficult war when dealing with judge of character on a broad perspective. I really do want to build onto business. I'm keeping an open mind on what kind of business I would like to own and how I will go with the flow with small business among capitalists and socialists. And, just because a piggish enemy wants to torment me by thinking she stole a dream of having a spa business, my bubble has not burst. I have not lost faith in myself over bankruptcy and other disasters in life. If it is an immature copycat game, I know I had the desire and idea myself and Oh my God! Look at how many other people have the same business of a spa. I have other ideas in mind. I don't know how many businesses I will run or if I will just stick to one.
As for the financial part, nothing has changed about me. I have been looked down on for being poor and bankrupt. But, I still believe I'm worthy to be loved if someone wants to love me. I hate being paranoid about having the rep of a gold digger, but like I said, I deal with life as it comes. I know for myself I can only do so much for myself. I don't have to be filthy rich. I'd be satisfied to have a decent income where I feel comfortable that I would not let myself feel guilty over. I want a decent life with a decent home and to travel. I make the best of my life with what I have. It can get depressing but I havn't stopped dreaming.

So many random thoughts that go on in my mind..... I can't remember any of them right now, but might be back to update this blog later.