Lots of random thoughts

Busy busy busy

Life is unfolding in its own way and I am experiencing some difficulty in adapting to and understanding it. Like Red Hot Chili Pepper's sing: the more I see the less I know. (Snow). Past issues either feel unresolved or resolved in the grey. Present issues; I'm still trying to decipher. For me to be out-spokingly shady, I can't expect much, but I hate the number of times I feel restless and experiencing undescribable feelings of darkness.

I hate how my words come out sometimes. And I really hate that I'm already worrying how people would take that statement and take advantage of it with their arrogance. It is a time where I feel anxious to be understood where I would be half willing to be robotted by the architect to have my words come out the right way. Of course I don't seriously mean it. I never have and never will be willing with both the mystery and already set up riggings made by the architect. I live through my emotions and sweat some things because I don't mind being naturally anxious in order to be human.

I'm slightly bothered at the way I am seen as Janice Joplin or a hippy. Hippies are against some of my philosophy and I hate how the perception of my philosophy is summed up. I really do have a lot of philosophical views over a number of issues that really can sometimes change. I don't consider myself a loser either because I have the potential to change my mind on some things. I understand experience, communication issues, and personal modern day evolution that is not in serious terms of the scientific term of evolution.
I do fear a communistic reality that can never be fixed and that dreams can never break. I'd die to dream anyway.

I did say I would come back to the idea of gambling that I feel is one issue that is very broad and abstract to me:
http://247wallst.com/2011/05/13/the-ten-states-that-make-the-most-from-sin/

I'll skip the smoking issue for now. It has never really been a big deal for me.
As for gambling, in Burmuda, it is a large and serious obstacle. In down to earth literal slot machine and bet placing over cards not dealing with people, it is a seperate view.
In literal gambling that does not involve people, my personal belief is to not gamble. Depending on salary, I would go for the fun and entertainment of it with a meager amount compared to my salary. Right now, with unemployment, the comparison is a joke. But, if I did make more money, gambling would not be a huge investment, but something on few occassion.
As for Burmuda? Of course it is rude to make bets on people's lives. Of course it is wrong. To compare it with brushing off gossip of other people will never add up with the key word of EXTENT. Some people do talk all the want to. Some people can definitely make bets all they want to. With all of my issues, it is an issue on the back burner with the rest of issues in my helpless pile. What can a person do when bets are being made? It could be compared to another science project. But if 2 people were to really get together and knock boots, I really don't consider it much of anything. I think I'm already figuring out where Jersey Shore got the name of "The Situation," from.
If I knew I was out to have fun, the slander of being subjected to a bet or gamble really would not kill me. You can't rape the willing.
If a guy knew he was strictly and only made for a bet, its up to the other partner of the level of feeling of either being the one to take advantage or taken advantage of. The aware person will live with however they feel for themself with the choice they made.
As with endless examples of so many other things, even when a person is being bet on or rigged, that person is entitled to feel however they want to feel about anything. I've dealt with communism for a long time. Even though I hate communism with everything I have in me and the things people get away with in their communism, communism will never get the best of me. I continue to rock on:



If anything, when it comes to another issue of questioning, gambling in this instance, I equate it to another victimization game where vultures are craving and drooling over any blood they can find.