So many thoughts today. While I continue to feel bothered by people's expressed "dominion," over me, it is still just all talk. I see it as expressed dominion because I feel the overbearing weight and less breathing room. I also see some arrogance. I simply voice my opinion, not as submission but as the simple quote of opinions go: Opinions are like assholes: everybody has one.
I'll start with Snooki. I really have not watched many episodes of Jersey Shore. It just doesn't have a strong appeal to me. I have taken notes of some of the characters and feel as if I should feel obligated to watch the show. I may watch the show one day, but during times of relation to me, I see it as a popular tabloid of possible and numerous matrix connections.
I don't quite get the Snooki cop car crash. I also continue to deny and be anorexic of hooker labels. I question about other Nicole's and if I should take it seriously whether or not they really are hookers. I also am not necessarily out to judge others but I may find at a later date what the writers and creators of the show may be out to tabloid about possible matrix connections.
I laugh a little at crimes and burglary. I did get in Sid's face the other day at his bar in my own way. I barely trashed the place. I did come off as threatening. I did not steal anything. I have not demolished anything yet. So, the mudslinging description is definitely manipulative and stretced to the extreme.
Black sheep fueds continue on with extremism of "virginity tests." It is another thing that can't kill me. It has some level of embarassment of being exploited to have to suffer from some extremist beliefs regarding virginity. However, in this situation, I have some degree of faith in others to support and agree with me towards the view of how ridiculous the "virginity tests," are. Of course I'm not a virgin. I'm not ashamed whatsoever. I feel like a normal human being and not only disagree with the test but with the whole idea of extremist views of virginity.
While on the subject of faith matters, is the controlling opinion of "shame being hotter than happiness." My continous, simple, and unshattered opinion in opposition is: to each his own. I'm not easily led as some people assume and usually steal with arrogance. I feel happy, shameful, whatever random type of feeling at my leisure. If I feel the need to feel ashamed about anything, I'd let myself do it in my own time. Because I trust my personal accountability and know that I know myself better than anyone, and still have my own views and beliefs, I march to the beat of my own drum. This can include feeling shameful, but there are a lot of other feelings of color that many people may never get about me. Most usually do pigeon hole or try to have some cheap understandings. I never forced anyone to be my slave to invest the time to get me. It is always a person's own free will. Of course it is an entire different story in stockholm, when slave labor is demanded of me, when I am expected to suffer for another because of simple pigeon holing.
On to politics. Mitt Romney and Obama. I have not been paying a whole lot of attention to politics this round. Even though I feel there is a lot I don't know, I still have some ideas and opinions of what I do know. I think it is extremism on both ends and I question the torture of not ever having a dream even the most simple American one.
Although I disagree with polygamy and am in full support of monogamy, it really is a tough battle to deal with. I keep my personal life's outlooks and experience with the world to myself with how I would sum up a conclusion. I still think Romney's personal belief and faith would be a hinderance and block to the dreamers that want monogamy.
As for Obama, I feel like it is hard to explain how I feel with how sensitive his side is. For some time, I have been silently observing oppression, possibilities of marxism, and how things usually evolve. In present times, I have heard complaints that are not just from black people but other ethnicities as well that deal with racism. It is still a sensitive subject, so when talking about oppression, I hate how difficult it feels to talk about it.
I know about strategies. I know about desperation. I know the lengths some people would go to get what they want and I think it can be so depressing for some people to have to either go the lengths, or work hard with either little or no payoff or satisfaction. It is so unfair for so many people with the way life goes sometimes.
It is back to philosophy of snowflakes and ants. It can be such a broad and lengthy explanation but it is the next place where my mind goes.
In understanding oppression though, I think the most effort should go towards: negotiation, reason, balance, and fairness. At the same time, dealing with the obstacle of maintaining freedom, personal space, privacy, and free will. I don't think so much should be invested in extremism as a strategy to win because even though I understand the oppression, some extreme strategies don't always solve the problem. It has the potential to create new ones while some may find relief or rest.
I don't have any final thoughts. Back to keeping myself busy..........
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Memorial Day
Lots of random thoughts. Days with closed shops and no mail make me anxious. Still, hooray to the vets! I don't really have much else to say for the troopers and vets.
I am happy to have been enjoying a few good moments recently. Because of things I've said in the past and how I've been before with Dane, I do feel a little stupid for myself. Sometimes, it feels so difficult to let things go or simply let loose at all. There is a slight hate of paranoia of being judged for having some idealogy and said things, but I'd either choose to ignore or deal with it as it comes. I am also doing everything I can to have a "taking it easy," attitude. Who knows what will happen.
In other thoughts................
Business and Finance. I always feel it will be a difficult war when dealing with judge of character on a broad perspective. I really do want to build onto business. I'm keeping an open mind on what kind of business I would like to own and how I will go with the flow with small business among capitalists and socialists. And, just because a piggish enemy wants to torment me by thinking she stole a dream of having a spa business, my bubble has not burst. I have not lost faith in myself over bankruptcy and other disasters in life. If it is an immature copycat game, I know I had the desire and idea myself and Oh my God! Look at how many other people have the same business of a spa. I have other ideas in mind. I don't know how many businesses I will run or if I will just stick to one.
As for the financial part, nothing has changed about me. I have been looked down on for being poor and bankrupt. But, I still believe I'm worthy to be loved if someone wants to love me. I hate being paranoid about having the rep of a gold digger, but like I said, I deal with life as it comes. I know for myself I can only do so much for myself. I don't have to be filthy rich. I'd be satisfied to have a decent income where I feel comfortable that I would not let myself feel guilty over. I want a decent life with a decent home and to travel. I make the best of my life with what I have. It can get depressing but I havn't stopped dreaming.
So many random thoughts that go on in my mind..... I can't remember any of them right now, but might be back to update this blog later.
I am happy to have been enjoying a few good moments recently. Because of things I've said in the past and how I've been before with Dane, I do feel a little stupid for myself. Sometimes, it feels so difficult to let things go or simply let loose at all. There is a slight hate of paranoia of being judged for having some idealogy and said things, but I'd either choose to ignore or deal with it as it comes. I am also doing everything I can to have a "taking it easy," attitude. Who knows what will happen.
In other thoughts................
Business and Finance. I always feel it will be a difficult war when dealing with judge of character on a broad perspective. I really do want to build onto business. I'm keeping an open mind on what kind of business I would like to own and how I will go with the flow with small business among capitalists and socialists. And, just because a piggish enemy wants to torment me by thinking she stole a dream of having a spa business, my bubble has not burst. I have not lost faith in myself over bankruptcy and other disasters in life. If it is an immature copycat game, I know I had the desire and idea myself and Oh my God! Look at how many other people have the same business of a spa. I have other ideas in mind. I don't know how many businesses I will run or if I will just stick to one.
As for the financial part, nothing has changed about me. I have been looked down on for being poor and bankrupt. But, I still believe I'm worthy to be loved if someone wants to love me. I hate being paranoid about having the rep of a gold digger, but like I said, I deal with life as it comes. I know for myself I can only do so much for myself. I don't have to be filthy rich. I'd be satisfied to have a decent income where I feel comfortable that I would not let myself feel guilty over. I want a decent life with a decent home and to travel. I make the best of my life with what I have. It can get depressing but I havn't stopped dreaming.
So many random thoughts that go on in my mind..... I can't remember any of them right now, but might be back to update this blog later.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Lots of random thoughts
Busy busy busy
Life is unfolding in its own way and I am experiencing some difficulty in adapting to and understanding it. Like Red Hot Chili Pepper's sing: the more I see the less I know. (Snow). Past issues either feel unresolved or resolved in the grey. Present issues; I'm still trying to decipher. For me to be out-spokingly shady, I can't expect much, but I hate the number of times I feel restless and experiencing undescribable feelings of darkness.
I hate how my words come out sometimes. And I really hate that I'm already worrying how people would take that statement and take advantage of it with their arrogance. It is a time where I feel anxious to be understood where I would be half willing to be robotted by the architect to have my words come out the right way. Of course I don't seriously mean it. I never have and never will be willing with both the mystery and already set up riggings made by the architect. I live through my emotions and sweat some things because I don't mind being naturally anxious in order to be human.
I'm slightly bothered at the way I am seen as Janice Joplin or a hippy. Hippies are against some of my philosophy and I hate how the perception of my philosophy is summed up. I really do have a lot of philosophical views over a number of issues that really can sometimes change. I don't consider myself a loser either because I have the potential to change my mind on some things. I understand experience, communication issues, and personal modern day evolution that is not in serious terms of the scientific term of evolution.
I do fear a communistic reality that can never be fixed and that dreams can never break. I'd die to dream anyway.
I did say I would come back to the idea of gambling that I feel is one issue that is very broad and abstract to me:
http://247wallst.com/2011/05/13/the-ten-states-that-make-the-most-from-sin/
I'll skip the smoking issue for now. It has never really been a big deal for me.
As for gambling, in Burmuda, it is a large and serious obstacle. In down to earth literal slot machine and bet placing over cards not dealing with people, it is a seperate view.
In literal gambling that does not involve people, my personal belief is to not gamble. Depending on salary, I would go for the fun and entertainment of it with a meager amount compared to my salary. Right now, with unemployment, the comparison is a joke. But, if I did make more money, gambling would not be a huge investment, but something on few occassion.
As for Burmuda? Of course it is rude to make bets on people's lives. Of course it is wrong. To compare it with brushing off gossip of other people will never add up with the key word of EXTENT. Some people do talk all the want to. Some people can definitely make bets all they want to. With all of my issues, it is an issue on the back burner with the rest of issues in my helpless pile. What can a person do when bets are being made? It could be compared to another science project. But if 2 people were to really get together and knock boots, I really don't consider it much of anything. I think I'm already figuring out where Jersey Shore got the name of "The Situation," from.
If I knew I was out to have fun, the slander of being subjected to a bet or gamble really would not kill me. You can't rape the willing.
If a guy knew he was strictly and only made for a bet, its up to the other partner of the level of feeling of either being the one to take advantage or taken advantage of. The aware person will live with however they feel for themself with the choice they made.
As with endless examples of so many other things, even when a person is being bet on or rigged, that person is entitled to feel however they want to feel about anything. I've dealt with communism for a long time. Even though I hate communism with everything I have in me and the things people get away with in their communism, communism will never get the best of me. I continue to rock on:
If anything, when it comes to another issue of questioning, gambling in this instance, I equate it to another victimization game where vultures are craving and drooling over any blood they can find.
Life is unfolding in its own way and I am experiencing some difficulty in adapting to and understanding it. Like Red Hot Chili Pepper's sing: the more I see the less I know. (Snow). Past issues either feel unresolved or resolved in the grey. Present issues; I'm still trying to decipher. For me to be out-spokingly shady, I can't expect much, but I hate the number of times I feel restless and experiencing undescribable feelings of darkness.
I hate how my words come out sometimes. And I really hate that I'm already worrying how people would take that statement and take advantage of it with their arrogance. It is a time where I feel anxious to be understood where I would be half willing to be robotted by the architect to have my words come out the right way. Of course I don't seriously mean it. I never have and never will be willing with both the mystery and already set up riggings made by the architect. I live through my emotions and sweat some things because I don't mind being naturally anxious in order to be human.
I'm slightly bothered at the way I am seen as Janice Joplin or a hippy. Hippies are against some of my philosophy and I hate how the perception of my philosophy is summed up. I really do have a lot of philosophical views over a number of issues that really can sometimes change. I don't consider myself a loser either because I have the potential to change my mind on some things. I understand experience, communication issues, and personal modern day evolution that is not in serious terms of the scientific term of evolution.
I do fear a communistic reality that can never be fixed and that dreams can never break. I'd die to dream anyway.
I did say I would come back to the idea of gambling that I feel is one issue that is very broad and abstract to me:
http://247wallst.com/2011/05/13/the-ten-states-that-make-the-most-from-sin/
I'll skip the smoking issue for now. It has never really been a big deal for me.
As for gambling, in Burmuda, it is a large and serious obstacle. In down to earth literal slot machine and bet placing over cards not dealing with people, it is a seperate view.
In literal gambling that does not involve people, my personal belief is to not gamble. Depending on salary, I would go for the fun and entertainment of it with a meager amount compared to my salary. Right now, with unemployment, the comparison is a joke. But, if I did make more money, gambling would not be a huge investment, but something on few occassion.
As for Burmuda? Of course it is rude to make bets on people's lives. Of course it is wrong. To compare it with brushing off gossip of other people will never add up with the key word of EXTENT. Some people do talk all the want to. Some people can definitely make bets all they want to. With all of my issues, it is an issue on the back burner with the rest of issues in my helpless pile. What can a person do when bets are being made? It could be compared to another science project. But if 2 people were to really get together and knock boots, I really don't consider it much of anything. I think I'm already figuring out where Jersey Shore got the name of "The Situation," from.
If I knew I was out to have fun, the slander of being subjected to a bet or gamble really would not kill me. You can't rape the willing.
If a guy knew he was strictly and only made for a bet, its up to the other partner of the level of feeling of either being the one to take advantage or taken advantage of. The aware person will live with however they feel for themself with the choice they made.
As with endless examples of so many other things, even when a person is being bet on or rigged, that person is entitled to feel however they want to feel about anything. I've dealt with communism for a long time. Even though I hate communism with everything I have in me and the things people get away with in their communism, communism will never get the best of me. I continue to rock on:
If anything, when it comes to another issue of questioning, gambling in this instance, I equate it to another victimization game where vultures are craving and drooling over any blood they can find.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Dick Tracy
This is one of the biggest chunks of news that I see on my radar:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/16/dominique-strausskahn-fac_n_862340.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl3%7Csec1_lnk2%7C63215
In addition to this news piece on my radar, there has been another guy in my field of view. Chris. While he may be recognizable to some (and is an obvious recognizable guy connected with Dominique) I will leave out his last name because I'm sure some people know who we are talking about.
So Chris, until I see some things for myself I won't make your exploit louder.
I really don't know how to take the story. I know French culture has been one of my latest interests and a topic I am open to, but I don't know how the story all ties together?
I can't see the motive. I have grown numb to a lot of sexual offenses and abuses, so, I'm not exactly sure what he is guilty of in specifics.
Does he want me to feel disgusted with myself or embarassed?
Does he want to sexually motivate me or have his own way of praising me with the thought of some sort of sexual coming on because of my interest in the French culture?
In picking up on other notes, is this something that has happened in the present or past?
What are his intentions?
What is he out to do?
So Dick, I can't really answer your questions until you answer mine.
The story is abstract. Amongst so many other examples, it is another puzzle piece of Burmuda.
While on the subject of sexual abuse, is the most recent example today with a bedroom makeover that had a design of my panties. I am glad it was recognized as a juvenile act, but to the editor: why are you allowing them to exploit their juvenile act?
Dick, this isn't something to blame me for. Dick, I already told you the actual choices I have made and even added on that I don't mind you having an exclusive eye to me. In the darkness, I really have no shame about anything. I know it is not my choice and I am innocent. I also know I am in a tired state of mind. Dick, if someone is seriously trying to compete with me while sleeping, I think you should be a smart enough detective and interrogator to see the real insecurity in that. Dick if it is exclusively you and there is no motive to compete, I mean what I said when I don't mind your exclusive eye. ;0)
So Dick, any more questions?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/16/dominique-strausskahn-fac_n_862340.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl3%7Csec1_lnk2%7C63215
In addition to this news piece on my radar, there has been another guy in my field of view. Chris. While he may be recognizable to some (and is an obvious recognizable guy connected with Dominique) I will leave out his last name because I'm sure some people know who we are talking about.
So Chris, until I see some things for myself I won't make your exploit louder.
I really don't know how to take the story. I know French culture has been one of my latest interests and a topic I am open to, but I don't know how the story all ties together?
I can't see the motive. I have grown numb to a lot of sexual offenses and abuses, so, I'm not exactly sure what he is guilty of in specifics.
Does he want me to feel disgusted with myself or embarassed?
Does he want to sexually motivate me or have his own way of praising me with the thought of some sort of sexual coming on because of my interest in the French culture?
In picking up on other notes, is this something that has happened in the present or past?
What are his intentions?
What is he out to do?
So Dick, I can't really answer your questions until you answer mine.
The story is abstract. Amongst so many other examples, it is another puzzle piece of Burmuda.
While on the subject of sexual abuse, is the most recent example today with a bedroom makeover that had a design of my panties. I am glad it was recognized as a juvenile act, but to the editor: why are you allowing them to exploit their juvenile act?
Dick, this isn't something to blame me for. Dick, I already told you the actual choices I have made and even added on that I don't mind you having an exclusive eye to me. In the darkness, I really have no shame about anything. I know it is not my choice and I am innocent. I also know I am in a tired state of mind. Dick, if someone is seriously trying to compete with me while sleeping, I think you should be a smart enough detective and interrogator to see the real insecurity in that. Dick if it is exclusively you and there is no motive to compete, I mean what I said when I don't mind your exclusive eye. ;0)
So Dick, any more questions?
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)