Dear Male Nurse: I'm using you

Just to let you know, I identify you as your mystery man, and give you the assurance that I'm not letting anyone else take your credit. I feel it will always be more of a stab at me with the credit they want to give their self along with the intentional way they will take charge and take me for what I'm worth in one way or another, but since you look like you want to make things better, let's just keep fantasizing. You come from one end or another with your role as a nurse: "I'm not different than any other man because I'm a nurse," or "I am what I look as a nurse." Of course I prefer the latter. I've got bad news for you though. Crisis in a crisis. I'm sorry if you feel in ruin because you're not fast enough for my mouth and the way "I ruin it." While I know I get livid when I feel cornered, blackmailed, and like there are certain things men want to use against me and threaten me for, I sometimes wish I would be seen for the injured, vulnerable, and needy woman I am in a caring way without the man being too dominant or arrogant. I sometimes wish I could be seen like I have this large open bleeding wound a man would just shut up, stop complaining, recognize I'm in a pain that they should stop refusing to understand, and stop playing their selfish, self-centered, and dimwitted games. Not that I want any man who comes along to be a mind-reader. I've known what it means to cry out loud too much and the way so many can't be trusted or understand what it means to get someone right, and when you know someone intentionally won't have any common sense, they just won't. I don't always like or want to be the center of attention. I don't always need the entire world to recognize me, but some people just don't want to keep their selfish mouth shut whether or not they feel they speak the truth or intentionally testing me with recognition like I'm their dog. If they don't have their way with recognition with me, it can be the worst egocentric, sick, and selfish extreme fit-throwing wrath sometimes. Right now, I'm not always the most against the sexual aspect of fooling around, but will a man seriously help a woman out sometimes? And for crying out loud, some other egocentric pig of a man will come walking around the corner wanting to say he has the solution to my problem in the worst arrogance, when a person would intentionally kill you like that for crying out loud anyway. I can't point the finger at you yet male nurse whose name I don't know, but when a man wants to take advantage anyway, help me out with some other things a little more. … I usually don't win no matter what I say or do: demands or no demands, but right now I just feel like being a little more demanding. It's never ended with living in fear and feeling like I'm always being left for dead with the worst predators. I'm at risk over anything I say and no matter what I say. I emotionally and sexually need you too male nurse, but within the next x-amount of months, I may have no other choice than to move back in with my parents who live 6 hours away. Because we are not living together in real life, because you don't help me out with any bills. I have an aunt who has an offer, but she is one who has been in a big cat fight with me and I refuse to play stupid with her or feel at risk in being forced to take any more of a threat. I already hate playing stupid with my parents but there is no other way around it and parents are parents. So, although I may not be able to take advantage of you in some ways, I think I'm going to use you to just have this vent. (Don't know whether or not you like communication like this; I know I'd rather have a more private and still open and free conversation with you). (and whether you ever admit the kidnapper you are or won't.) hhmfmmphhhh! goodnight male nurse.