Tormented Thanksgiving

I am recovering from my sickness and only have a few more days of antibiotics left to go. When I'm sick, the thought of drinking is seriously the last thing on my mind, so I haven't had to suffer as a lush too much. However, There are several different things all rolled into one that just make this week so tormentingly awful. I seriously need to take a night out on the town. There are times that I have been able to go out almost every weekend to every other weekend. It has been over a month and possibly 2 months since I have gone out and had myself a good time. In my sickness, the torment just adds on. I lose some hours because I do have some drowsiness. I can never drink coffee in 2 separate times in one day and get away with it: insomnia. But with the drowsiness I have, I have coffee fixes and I am still tired. Besides losing hours, the hours have been slow. In order to get my bonuses I have to have x number of calls. My call numbers aren't high at all and this means I have no other choice than to work the full entire weekend. I lose Thanksgiving work day and have to make up for that. My bills are behind and I have no other choice. I would be more tormented to know the difference of money with the money I would be spending while during that time, the much extra amount I could be earning. It makes a major difference to get a certain number of calls in and reach a certain amount. With Christmas coming and being behind on bills; I just couldn't handle $200+ just flying and disappearing into the air with the difference of going out or working. It would be torment to know the money I would be missing out on. What's more is not only I have had a strong craving to go out on the town, but also a strong craving to shop and it is black Friday weekend. Torment with all the deals and the time I don't have to shop. I will probably let myself make a guilty online purchase or two to relieve some of the pain of the torment. It really makes no sense to buy more clothes after not being able to get out after so long. What is the sense in buying clothes when I never have the time? I've been wanting an Ulta and Victoria's Secret splurge too. With the investment I've made in Victoria's through the years; I've never had boyfriends to wear it for. It used to be for my customers at the night clubs and to let myself feel pretty. Anymore, it is for whatever potential mystery man of the night I could meet (which I haven't done in awhile either). I just don't care to just say it... I'm hoping to have some things get done by January because it is the month where I plan on getting more active in the dating sites and scene. I've known I'm not getting any younger, but there is always other things I want to get done on my checklist before I make it to that check mark of things I have to do. It is just a serious week of torment with timing and not having enough money. There is supposed to be a Jason Mraz concert too that I heard of just today that is happening THIS weekend. I'm so mad with how much I missing out in this week.