You're the Boss

Overkilled and torn to pieces. .... I know you're giving me a hint to a jealous episode of yours. I seriously don't think you need any more revenge or wrath. That was a big overkill. If we are done; we are done. I find it to be very disturbing that you would want to keep me "challenged" with Rob Lowe. You really think I would ever beg or compete with that juggernaut? I'm upset that the worst was brought out in you in your own juggernaut overkill... While I won't go into a lengthy competitive detail with who was being more of a bad guy around the time that I had all those VIPs in one night with that Jersey dude; I'm pretty sure you were the one who was cheating on me hard with Gillian at the time. I also took the Jersey dude as someone who could resemble you some, but I didn't think too much over credibility of the issue. I know my grinding truth for what it was and won't go into more detail with the way I was partially making out with him. I never chased him or pursued him to want to be in a relationship with him. ........... Your overkill is too much for me. If we're done, I'm still walking away and waiting for the rest of the relationship to die off. I'm not meaning to work on us too much. I have my own way of making my communications clear. Before I was reminded of the hint of a small cheat, I was going to say something along of the lines: that's what I get for being the sexually jealous and straight type. I think it was too much of an overkill. Your juggernaut approach and recent persistent other threat with Rob Lowe is another severe low blow, and couldn't make me want to do anything other than waiting for the relationship to die off. ...slave slave slave: "that's what I get...," was what I was going to say along those lines yesterday. ... I'm mostly in a continued listlessness. It looks like they (whoever they is today) wants to make Jon your scapegoat. Maybe it was Jon who intentionally led you on to me to keep me gang raped because he knows you're the murderous juggernaut type. It could have been just your jealousy, but you have such a violent wrath in your jealousy and you disgust me to be such an Ike Turner juggernaut like that. I don't know if you have seen those "comedy style" videos of "The JUggarnaut" who is a full fledged abusing and womanizing chauvinist, but they are out there somewhere. I haven't recently looked them up. I know I'm not completely "set free," and know you're still here and around. You seem to be indecisive in being done with the relationship or not. As a captive or slave, I am your captive. You are the boss. I can only wait you out. ......If I were to give myself more of an opinionated voice, I've always seen cheating relationships in their own ruin. I really like the O.A.R. song "hold on true." I think cheating is the devil and ruin in so many ways, yet it is such a common and normalized problem amongst many couples and the issue is overlooked. The thought of having trust in the relationship is such a foiled, trashed, and ruined value that is next to impossible to obtain. It is a big deal to want to be with someone you could trust. I've never wanted to be the doormat or desperate for a man I feel I could never trust. While some women do seriously lower their standard and bar to not care and to remain desperate anyway, I have never been a self-willed and choosing to be that way woman. Modern day relationships are terrible and have yet to be more reasonable, more trusting, and better. With some extreme and vindictive men: "it is what I get" to have been a slut or in becoming a stripper. I'm not denying your vindictiveness, but I know I know better against cheating relationships. And you should especially know that I know you're not clean and innocent. ....... You're the boss, I can only wait you out.