Tom Tom Tom

hhmmmmmmmmm.......... not putting me out of my misery enough. I see your mixed signals. The best way of calming me down that you have given me yet is letting me win with "Lily." That was something of relief to hear. I will not be compared to Tabitha, Becky, or other Lily's. My snowflake war has a strong connection to my name of Lily. Karma is the weakest and most pitiful connection to never make. So, you're my Joel and I'm your Victoria? hmmmmm. I know I can't deny I want to be your sexual pleasure.......Well, she may not be connected to Victoria's Secrets, but I can only guess that that is probably where your mind is. If it is connected to the church, maybe you see me as a serious "effective teammate" in somehow be a life provider/inspiration with you. Whatever way you are thinking, it is what you only know. Back to wanting to sexually please you..... You really do appear to not be the most slave laboring when it has come to other men who do believe in slavery. Nothing has yet to happen and that is why I don't take you seriously. If you were to keep rolling and taking yourself seriously, you look like a man of polygamy who may not be making a slave out of me, but you are a man of polygamy and that is that. I may not be your most favorite wife or have the most favorite body, but you won't necessarily make me your reject either......... I am not out of my misery enough. I'm just not. The day you seriously want to sleep with me and/or pay me money may happen. But what happens when I want the real marriage of fidelity and faithfulness that I want? What happens if I do have a satisfying amount of money and I just leave you at that? Am I still going to be your captive feeling locked in for the rest of my life and knowing life will never get any better? Are you really ever going to give me money, or let me go after I've been satisfied? While I'm not completely possessive, there would just be sometimes where I couldn't handle the polygamy more than others. Maybe you will take the main threats away where you will not only let me be "Lily" but you would accept the fact that I will always be queen of my own world. Who knows. I am thinking ahead though. If you are going to keep leading me on and me seeing the hints you give bad and good, you have some idea of how I know I am thinking ahead. I'm not taking our "marriage," too seriously~~~ I see us still as carefree playmates until you make me cry or bleed in some way to manipulate into needing each other because you want to keep me around and I am the meat for not being strong enough to take the rejection by not being upset in some way (even if I am innocently upset). I'm just not put out of my misery enough.