Lots of Thoughts

Busy busy day. The day is not over yet and plenty of things to do. A lot of anxiety right now that I can only wait out. I just filed for unemployment and have to wait out the process once again. Another period where I have to suffer more financial and life lack of security. How will I ever get out of this town when I'll always be challenged by impossible and inferior totalitarianism? ...... I am just starting on a new Netflix TV series, "Lie to Me." While I know what my real outlook is, the TV series probably is just a temporary "trap" for me to view "watch while we rape you more." The TV series of "Lie to Me," is just something I will have to find out about............ Thinking out loud........ Tom really isn't on my good side. I guess if anything, we are each others willing and carefree playmates for now. I still want Barilla the most. I don't know what his real name is. Two different possible backgrounds he could come from to be connected to with me: 1. The real actual Catherine Zeta Jones is doing something nice for me to meet a past friend of hers. 2. This is a terrorist story from Stacy and my dad (Dr. Who is one of my dad's fav shows): watch us screw your ignorance more by hooking you up with a bisexual/ possibly orgy friend or just gay mate of my fathers. How terrible it would be if this is just another Jon Stewart arbitrage where he keeps burying me alive with his lies. I'm really hoping the 1. is the real truth. ........................................... Well, I can spend my time getting ready for the next last 2 craft shows. The misery is knowing it doesn't even compare to a regular part time income. At least it is some way to try to make money. I had a lot of ideas I didn't get to this year, but it was supposed to be for a good reason............. A lot of frustration and anxiety. I really don't know how to reach Barilla. Tom really just looks like the same repetitive story that isn't going to get anywhere. Anxiety and time time time time to wait out.