thoughts

I have many thoughts to keep to myself and nothing to say. However, there are a few thoughts to put out there. With Jon, it is still the same impossible story. Impossible in every direction. There is definitely a lot of terrible and negative things going on with him and even with the up to dates of this week, but it remains in an impossible stand still or "stalemate." None the less, I pick and choose to chat over some things he mentions..... In putting aside the number of shares and the bickering and arguing that comes with it, is the gist of the idea he has stayed insistent on: being a performer and entertainer. Jon, I thought about flirting a little with the idea of: Well, what would happen if I made an agreeing confession: "yes, I am a performer/entertainer." The answer could be that the milk or perfume or whatever expression has already been spilled. In it's own way, the worst has happened in a way where there is no question and there is no answer. Some could call it the best, but I would use the word "worst," to cut to the chase of a possible threat. Besides your insistance Jon, it is just a subject of matter that I havn't put much thought to either worrying or bickering about. Ok, I take it back because there have been times where I have felt taken advantage of with the idea of entertainment and the media, but the idea of being a performer or entertainer is shown in a different light than what you are trying to say. I also picked up on a further suggestion and it is another thing that I don't care to bicker about. It is another example where I feel misjudged, but Jon, when everything is impossible with you anyway, what is the point in arguing over anything? ------------------------------------------------------ Penelope Cruz. I feel I should have to do some research with Meryl Streep. Sandra Bullock kissed her as well. If there is more to a story and I am supposed to be aware or paranoid, I should try to figure it out with some people. I can already tell Jon hates the Penelope in me and I'm not exactly or necessarily provoking him with the thought of her. She has some scenes that are the more accurate and inevitable thing of happening. I'm directing this to the Pirate's movie. As for the new movie she is coming out with, I'm only curious to see what the talk is for now. Maybe it is just a movie for movie's and entertainment's sake, or maybe someone has serious gossip or a serious point of view with their own perceived shot calling. Usually I do ignore someone when they refer to me as a hooker. Because I like the actress, I'm just curious to see what it is about. Even though she says there is no judgement, I would still definitely deny the title of a hooker. ------------------------------------------------------------------- As for Selma, I could barely hear the tv last night because Mitzi was sleeping, but it was definitely a violent and disturbing episode of Jay Leno. It isn't something I would look forward to in going back to watch the episode. With so many different ways of symbolism, I hate my own confusion and even possible forced perception with symbolism which involves a hairstyle in this instance. A hairstyle is a hairstyle that anyone could have even without symbolistic meaning. Some people purposefully are symbolistic but sometimes, my own paranoia bothers me when I think people are going to even read into my hairstyle. I'm bothered enough about obsessive symbolism and assumptions. I usually ignore and let people assume and guess anyway. I hate it when they are taken seriously and know I'm being lied about. Back to Selma. If I were to read into it and symbolism was serious, she breaks my heart that she would have a share with Megan. It isn't that I'm telling her what to do, I see how the picture is being presented and when it is presented, she is actually the one who is taking "ownership," "possession," or being responsible for a domination game. I simply hate Megan period. I am curious to see both of their new movies though. It is what fans do. I may not be a fan of Selma's much longer though. Oh papillon, oh pappilon. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Besides having a load to say, there still isn't a load I havn't said. I'll just leave it at that.