thoughts

There is so much that makes no sense right now. I don't get anything. I don't understand anything. I know I've said it before, but today is a day to say it anyway.
There are some thoughts that I keep to myself and other thoughts where a said response is just going to be delayed for the time...
Besides foggy drama is other stuff in life. I finished one of my bags that I was working on and it has made the rest of my day crappy. It is a flop, a failure. It was a summer market bag gone aqua seaweed pile. Perfect yarn on sale that still was pricey. With a bag like that, I should have used a cheaper, experimental yarn. I have had this artist frustration before when something doesn't turn out right. I just hate the waste that it is and with life already crappy enough, me having to deal with a small fail. I think I'm going to try again. I had already caught on to one mistake I had made, but besides just that mistake, I think I am going to make my own revisions to design the bag. It may be another flop and fail but this time I will be using a cheaper, experimental yarn. I am so upset though that this did not work out, especially with that yarn.
I am of some relief that I got a lot done on my to do list. Some tasks still stressful in themselves and if the specific stalker in mind I'm thinking of covers that too, I am afraid of his consequences. I just don't know how to not do or say some of the stuff I do. There are still a lot of things that aren't very clear right now.
The weather has been crazy this season and season coming up. I turned on the air conditioner twice today and another negative part to the day was discovering that the car's air conditioner isn't even working. I am already dreading the summer and not sure what Mitzie and I are going to have to do without an air conditioner. Maybe my parents will pay to get it fixed. I hope they do. There were a few odd ball random days in the winter too that were warm. Today felt like a summer day though.
So much to think about that it isn't funny.............going back to quiet mode.....