Seth.... You really have me stumped. You still have a piece of my heart but you really have me stumped. I didn't quite hear everything at the beginning of the show, but I will roll with your Arab man player concept. You also give an impression that you are bisexual. I wonder if you want me to wonder if you are a sexaholic or sex addict with the number of people you could be relationally involved with. You just led me on in such an intense way that I can't or don't know how to let you go if you wanted me to let you go.
I also see how the setting is making me look like a player. hmph. I will elaborately explain this one. Macaroni Grill? I don't know who I am on a date with. I'm assuming it could be someone's safety net for me "for the sake of my ego and that looking single would make me unworthy." Well, to describe any kind of relationship is awkward. Single and seeing you? ......I don't know...... Johnny Depp. Jessica, you are and aren't making me jealous. I will always like the techno "WTF" song, but as for the impression he left on me? It wasn't good to compare me to my Aunt Lisa. Some of the shares he may have had with others was awkward. To top it off, he is the one who is symbolically responsible for leaving me stranded and damned to this figurative but real island that I am on.
Seth. You are being smart with reality and who the biggest threat is. Luke. Presently, yes and no. He represents and has a great stance with one particular battle: 4th ammendement and rights to privacy. In the general perspective, it is for the greater good and should always be an acknowledged ammendment. In my world, it is and is not a sense of security. I have already suffered feeling overexploited and violated even in some ways that I do not know how to describe. Instead of sticking with this particular battle, I would rather go to the entire concept of the war: ISSUES OF ENTITLEMENT.
I have some pretty hateful enemies that want to go beyond just exploiting me. They would want to have the entitlement to say they deserve all entitlement and would want to slave laboringly rape the shit out of me in some of the most inhumane ways. This is something that can't always be seen, because as the cheesy quote has already been said: A woman's heart is like an ocean. And, I'm not always wearing my heart of my sleeve.
Entitlement though can go beyond just privacy, exploitation, and even physical nude exploits. No matter how severe a tyranny can be, I will always believe that a person has a heart, mind, and soul of their own despite the lengths a tyranist would go in claiming "ownership," or "possession."
(Luke really knew what he was doing when he chose the battle of the 4th ammendment. However, we are not technically dating. We can digitally have some different kinds of communication from time to time but I havn't seen him and don't consider myself to be in a relationship with him.)
There are so many fallacies amongst people and the tyranist that not everyone will ever understand. There is not only the more tangible issues of communication, but there is also a lot of psychology and grey areas within issues of entitlement.
In this damned island experience that I have already observed, people intentionally test and trigger dominance, possessiveness, and entitlement to either say how much they love wanting to torment me or how much they would hate me. I consider myself ignoring and negligent disregarding any claims any person would have. That is what is going on with my snowflake. It could be a different story with other snowflakes.
Any way, in communication, not everyone is going to have the integrity to make a real acknowledgement. A time investment should not always have to be required but when it varies with importances between either party, sometimes a time investment can't be skipped. Some people purposely lie or intentionally torment a person for the sake of wanting to torment or get under their skin. It just varies with people to people how they take each other and the things they would lie about and what the priorities of their goals are or whatever it is that a person is trying to prove.
Besides this, is so many other subcategories and issues within entitlement. There are differences between class of wealth and even smaller subcategories of codependencies with poor to poor; wealthy to poor; or wealthy to wealthy. It can be broken down into so many fractals from there that it isn't funny. Entitlement is such a severe and dangerous subject that not a lot of people including myself may comprehend in entirety even if they tried. I do give myself some credit that I do have a good extent of comprehension and understanding of the issue of entitlement. It can be frustrating that I don't have everything solved, but I am satisfied and proud in my own intelligence with the things that I comprehend.
While the war of entitlement is the biggest war in my eyes, I have taken note of some other battles. I really do hate when the sexual nazi battle is brought up, but that battle really does exist. People really do have serious and even severe sexual discrimination and issues of all sorts. There are plenty of other battles. There are plenty of other agendas and sometimes it is as simple as being vulnerable to the interests of the wealthy. It doesn't really turn out to be simple but the reason of the battle itself is. I think some of my major issues is how much people are in denial. I may not always have severe hate crimes to my face, but I hate that people would deny that I am hated and purposely set out to be unemployed. There are plenty of strategies to either get me fired or quit, but I even hate when people deny their desperations and riggings and corruptions.
In other random thoughts................Seth, when I wonder about possible shares and connections you remind me of another local. I'll just say his first name is Dave. I really would find it surprising if Dave really had any serious romantic feelings toward me. I like Dave as a person and would see him as a friend. I think it is nice if he were to try to make effort with me, but I just don't have feelings for Dave like that.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Dear Seth
Once again, I was not able to stay awake during the night hours and watched the show during the day. My routine has varied throughout the past few years. Anyway, a few thoughts.....
Kelly Clarkson. I think she is a very talented singer and she has made some good songs throughout the years. I think it is nice with whoever is coordinating and networking that they would connect me to have a share with her. Again, it isn't that there isn't anything personal against Kelly, I'm just tired of either being bribed off or used for entertainment. Sometimes, when I get emotional, my emotions aren't always meant for the world to know. My reality or drama is not always meant for the world to know. While it isn't my present core emotions, there have been times that I can really relate to some of her lyrics. Maybe the architect sees a larger picture where in their judgement, they think it is best to guess and exploit/foodstamp how they see me with whatever drama may be going on in the big picture. Although I like Kelly, I like the Metric acknowledgement better with: Who is the one who has control over the exploits? Who is the one who is playing Barbies? It varies with how leisurely or lenient I am. While there are no major crimes or serious offenses in this episode, I still am bothered by not understanding the control factor and the things that I can't see. I know the show isn't supposed to be about me, but I have not succumbed to the manipulations of bribery or being taken advantage of with entertainment.
Is that a little more clear or understood? Do you get what it is that I am trying to say?
Thinking around those lines, I see the domination game already coming into play:
New girl scout stripper with the name of "Oatmeal cookie?" I think I know why you are going the route of the namecall of little girl scout:
You want me to call you father or daddy and bend me over don't you?
Guess what? If this competition were to be taken seriously, Anderson is already referring to me as his mommy.............
Seth, in a different page, I seriously wouldn't mind having a person to talk about the idea of being a stripper. I totally think that it is out of character for me to do it. I really would have a difficult time going through with it. While I know for myself I have never taken any literal action of being a stripper or even a hooker, I have been seriously accused and treated like one. I've suffered real degradation in a capitalist way. I think I've lived through the worst it seems. To take the literal action of honestly being a stripper really is a different story. If I can't find a job, I would consider it to be taboo and courageous for me to push myself to go through with it. While it seems you may be already making some sexual jabs at me, I've already known I'm not the most at being: pretty, beautiful, or sexy. I think I am a decent looking chic though and know that some find me attractive. One of my phrases has always been: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Attractiveness can vary with people.
Because you have led me on and I have a thing for you, I won't be anorexic to this jab for what it is.... I think I've already made jokes about some do-gooder posers when I call them "boy scouts." I wasn't really insinuating anything about any guy's sexuality, it was about Supermen attitudes that some guys have. Who knows, some guys may be another woman's superman one day, but I just wasn't impressed with some guys posing Superman. It looks like a superwoman to you, would save your day by bending over to your chauvenism any time at any demand. A superwoman would be whipped by your Prince attitude and be at the top of the sex object list and a professional at pleasing you. Maybe I could be a little extreme in judgement or maybe you are very sincere at wanting a professional sex object. Seth, I already said you have put a hook in me and while I am having a share with Marilyn Monroe, I would hate for it to turn into Marilyn Manson and have our song as "tainted love." You havn't even seriously been with me and don't look like you are making a serious offense to say I am a pitiful sexual disaster. Who knows, maybe you really do want to seriously try me. Not only could I smack you for using your matrix imagination too much and say you don't even know my real thing, but are you seriously a die-hard chauvenist? In my world, sex and attractiveness matters, but I think it is shallow for it to be the only thing that matters. Yeah, I have flings and such but that doesn't mean that I've never wanted to be more than just a slut. Some guys, I'm fine with that. But in the general perspective, being single isn't always something I want. I live day by day..........
In other thoughts, I think you may be keeping Josh Myron separate from your brother Josh Meyers. You really havn't been clear about your literal brother's role of capitalism and you may not even be out to gang up on me. It looks more like you could possibly be either mediating or people pleasing to diminish any supremacy games between the both of us with neither side being favored and that we are both being picked on. I really don't want any more violence in my life and could have some extent of appreciation. I've already noticed a couple of instances where some guys' ignorance has been called out. I havn't forgotten that people have referred to me as being stupid. I really don't know how the political capitalism and the rest of the entertaining capitalism came about over me, but after all this time, it looks like some of my other enemies or predators are being called ignorant. I don't live for the crowd anyway. I just want all of the damnation to stop. I have some satisfaction with the media, but I would have more satisfaction if more damnation were to stop and if I had more control over my life.
I don't know everything that is going through your head. Did it give you a serious fuss for me to use coinstar instead of a bank on an occassion or two? hahaaha Or do you see it in a different way in the matrix where you're upset that "You're wealth and values," has been devalued? I'm not sure what page you are on or if you have any serious possessiveness of me. You could be thinking in a different context.....
Kelly Clarkson. I think she is a very talented singer and she has made some good songs throughout the years. I think it is nice with whoever is coordinating and networking that they would connect me to have a share with her. Again, it isn't that there isn't anything personal against Kelly, I'm just tired of either being bribed off or used for entertainment. Sometimes, when I get emotional, my emotions aren't always meant for the world to know. My reality or drama is not always meant for the world to know. While it isn't my present core emotions, there have been times that I can really relate to some of her lyrics. Maybe the architect sees a larger picture where in their judgement, they think it is best to guess and exploit/foodstamp how they see me with whatever drama may be going on in the big picture. Although I like Kelly, I like the Metric acknowledgement better with: Who is the one who has control over the exploits? Who is the one who is playing Barbies? It varies with how leisurely or lenient I am. While there are no major crimes or serious offenses in this episode, I still am bothered by not understanding the control factor and the things that I can't see. I know the show isn't supposed to be about me, but I have not succumbed to the manipulations of bribery or being taken advantage of with entertainment.
Is that a little more clear or understood? Do you get what it is that I am trying to say?
Thinking around those lines, I see the domination game already coming into play:
New girl scout stripper with the name of "Oatmeal cookie?" I think I know why you are going the route of the namecall of little girl scout:
You want me to call you father or daddy and bend me over don't you?
Guess what? If this competition were to be taken seriously, Anderson is already referring to me as his mommy.............
Seth, in a different page, I seriously wouldn't mind having a person to talk about the idea of being a stripper. I totally think that it is out of character for me to do it. I really would have a difficult time going through with it. While I know for myself I have never taken any literal action of being a stripper or even a hooker, I have been seriously accused and treated like one. I've suffered real degradation in a capitalist way. I think I've lived through the worst it seems. To take the literal action of honestly being a stripper really is a different story. If I can't find a job, I would consider it to be taboo and courageous for me to push myself to go through with it. While it seems you may be already making some sexual jabs at me, I've already known I'm not the most at being: pretty, beautiful, or sexy. I think I am a decent looking chic though and know that some find me attractive. One of my phrases has always been: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Attractiveness can vary with people.
Because you have led me on and I have a thing for you, I won't be anorexic to this jab for what it is.... I think I've already made jokes about some do-gooder posers when I call them "boy scouts." I wasn't really insinuating anything about any guy's sexuality, it was about Supermen attitudes that some guys have. Who knows, some guys may be another woman's superman one day, but I just wasn't impressed with some guys posing Superman. It looks like a superwoman to you, would save your day by bending over to your chauvenism any time at any demand. A superwoman would be whipped by your Prince attitude and be at the top of the sex object list and a professional at pleasing you. Maybe I could be a little extreme in judgement or maybe you are very sincere at wanting a professional sex object. Seth, I already said you have put a hook in me and while I am having a share with Marilyn Monroe, I would hate for it to turn into Marilyn Manson and have our song as "tainted love." You havn't even seriously been with me and don't look like you are making a serious offense to say I am a pitiful sexual disaster. Who knows, maybe you really do want to seriously try me. Not only could I smack you for using your matrix imagination too much and say you don't even know my real thing, but are you seriously a die-hard chauvenist? In my world, sex and attractiveness matters, but I think it is shallow for it to be the only thing that matters. Yeah, I have flings and such but that doesn't mean that I've never wanted to be more than just a slut. Some guys, I'm fine with that. But in the general perspective, being single isn't always something I want. I live day by day..........
In other thoughts, I think you may be keeping Josh Myron separate from your brother Josh Meyers. You really havn't been clear about your literal brother's role of capitalism and you may not even be out to gang up on me. It looks more like you could possibly be either mediating or people pleasing to diminish any supremacy games between the both of us with neither side being favored and that we are both being picked on. I really don't want any more violence in my life and could have some extent of appreciation. I've already noticed a couple of instances where some guys' ignorance has been called out. I havn't forgotten that people have referred to me as being stupid. I really don't know how the political capitalism and the rest of the entertaining capitalism came about over me, but after all this time, it looks like some of my other enemies or predators are being called ignorant. I don't live for the crowd anyway. I just want all of the damnation to stop. I have some satisfaction with the media, but I would have more satisfaction if more damnation were to stop and if I had more control over my life.
I don't know everything that is going through your head. Did it give you a serious fuss for me to use coinstar instead of a bank on an occassion or two? hahaaha Or do you see it in a different way in the matrix where you're upset that "You're wealth and values," has been devalued? I'm not sure what page you are on or if you have any serious possessiveness of me. You could be thinking in a different context.....
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