Where do I start? Frustrating weekend. Snow, forgetfulness, business, and a bunch of random things that add up. I wanted to go to an event this weekend but it totally crossed my mind over making an official reservation. Too late now. At least I reinformed myself to save myself from the forgetful embarassment. A lot of things to do anyway. Some of my crafts are coming along and some I need to make a few tweeks and trying to be patient in figuring out my sewing machine...... My etsy account is already running but going to make a few more additions and advertising over the weekend......
It leads my next thoughts with: As the Sarah Turns..... I have learned to stay calm during specific kinds of abuse over certain people and things, but I remain baffled as to why I am such an ignored and forgotten about person? It seems more that it isn't I'm just being ignored, I'm purposefully and sadistically being ignored over certain issues. Don't people get how much their violent pestering reflects on them???.......
The first guy I won't mention his name. If he is paying attention, he'll know who he is. The good before the bad and the ugly: At least he has some kind of emotional compassion to recognize a hurt and breaking heart. (I've already noticed the bisexual relationship after that anyway; he still has a point to make over it?) I think he already knows that I have some kind of an attraction to him but that fact only goes so far. It was mostly a certain absolute commercial amongst the arbitrage where I lost total interest. It was the Absolute commercial, which flavor I don't remember, where an Asian woman was singing in the dessert. No offense to Asia, but for me personally, it was a continued, sadistic, morbid, violent, intentionally harassing attack that has been another violent bomb against me. I know I'm not a nobody. Whether I ever share what I think or feel; I still know that I exist. The things that are being intentionally ignored are: that previous statement; me denying several peoples' god complexes, and knowing I have nothing to prove to anyone. Continuously, morbidly, sadistically ignored. I continue to just stare back; what on earth????? How morbid and neverendingly sadistic some people are. I know for myself I took Jon's rejection the first time, but why is it he thinks I should be so sadistically tormented or be killed like that? Not Jon I'm talking about now in this paragraph, but Mr. You know who you are, why would you continue with that specific attack? The attack has been denied from the start. He is an oxymoron anyway for already have given me some kind of acknowledgement over other things. HOWEVER he is bringing it on himself where he is on my rejected list BECAUSE OF subjecting me for the sake of Kim. He is definitely a Mr. Wrong. I'm obviously a reject of his but he doesn't get it. It isn't just Kim, but any other bitch that any man expects me to be subjected to will always be on my Mr. Wrong loser list. I seriously would rather them acknowledge that and get the message and just be on their way rather than continue to sadistically ignore me like that. I havn't seen all his arbitrage movies yet. If I do watch one, it is only out of curiosity.
No more time wasted.
No more time wasted and on to the next guy.... There are one or two now that I think I'm getting a catcall from. I really don't have much of a comment for now. I am hesitant and don't see myself as giving in to either . Not enough trust or rapport.
Chris Cornell. I know he has let me down before. I'm not completely understanding his arbitrage or what is completely going on presently. His last pick up line a few weeks ago was enough. I don't see a need to give up on his imagination game and will put more effort into being patient or waiting on whatever is coming from him. I do have some curiosity on the movie with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie "The Tourist," but not completely sold on the fantasy. If it was directed at me, he must have forgotten about the Ting Tings and the "That's not my name song." For whatever reason, some men still want to refer to me as Lisa anyway. That's just not my name. I saw the offer for Hamilton again and I am definitely not interested in working in that kind of environment again. I still do not understand the purpose of that level of hate to this day and don't plan on spending my life to research and figure out why. If he does have another job offer, I'll just wait for that, but I have no other choice to just stick with what I have now. Chris does have some smoothness in the way he leaves me guessing and recent spontaneity. I know he is another guy where it most likely will never realistically work but he seems pretty harmless right now.
I have reason to grip myself tightly sometimes but there is no reason to break a sweat right now. steady paced and running.
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