Random Thoughts

There is not a whole lot new right now other than my pregnancy. I'm already on my second trimester and even time ticks by fast while being pregnant. It is a wonderful feeling that women usually say it is to be pregnant. I have a reason to be happy. Besides that though, I'm still sick of the life I have to deal with. Still fed up. Because of some things coming up, I'm not going to spend as much time on a job hunt this week but will get back into it.
Surprise surprise more judgement coming my way: harassment over the fact that I drink. Of course I'm not drinking while pregnant. I don't even know who is judging me right now or where or why it is coming from. It is obviously coming from desperate ppl who want to trash talk my name. More than half the stuff I barely read over. It is mostly glancing or skimming through. I have been sick of the desperation in so many ways. I still remain unchallenged by what people say or think about me. They can just shove it. A lot of Britney Spears songs match what I think and most of the time, people won't get a piece of me anyway. I'm sick of how endless and desperate people are to keep vulturing over me and wanting to take advantage.

I think Dane may be giving me a catcall. It isn't that I am out of touch with the side of me that is lenient and giving in. I could easily say "awe, how sweet." Actually, it wouldn't be easy at all. I'm still too fed up and mad at the things he has already said and done. Fed up with his games. Fed up with his domination games. Fed up with how he plays the game and has already been a sore loser with his verbal and sexual abuse. No grace or forgiveness. I'm going to have to haul and heeve on my single aloneness. He did make effort. I don't want to try to work anything out. I don't want it to work out at all with the way he has been. It is an insult for him to think I would be naive like that. With some sexual harassment and abuse, I still want him and people who make the same actions dead as well. Fucked up, crackhead, desperate judgement and desperate attempts to make me feel insecure.
If he isn't giving me a catcall than "I must not be winning," because only a schiz would be delusional or put words in Dane's mouth.

~Diamonds are a girl's best friend~

Names symbolism literalness

I have no choice but to make a daring move right now. The specifics are obvious. How insane of an idea it is for me to deny a life and say that it is all staged....is it really insanity? With how I've seen some of the media go, there are several ways to be perplexed.
I've already crossed a bridge like this before...... I deny that I am in any gang. I deny being responsible for some sort of serial killer's kill.
If there is no serial killer, and the media is making a social conformity of people's minds, there is still the question of how serious the corruption is.
Is it a serial killer by the freemason's?
Does this person make the choice to take their name so seriously and so literally that the death will have some seriously profound meaning? They seriously represent their name and would be killed for their own symbolism?
It is nothing but staged and made up? ................................

I did see and do recommend people seeing the movie "Namesake." It does get emotional. In my personal opinion, I don't think names should be taken with such serious symbolism. My baby's name will have meaning but it does not mean that it lives as a symbol. I deny that I am a symbol with anyone. There are people who connect me with other people, but that does not mean I live as a symbol or even for them personally. Some people get way too obsessed in their stalkings. I am so satisfied with the baby names I have chosen to decide from.

I think one tactic is for me to keep watching "Two and a Half Men." I'll be leisurely about it as I usually am.
Right now I am more withdrawn from everyone compared to usual. TV not only gets damning but boring as well. I get damned from so many places. Anyway, there is not a whole lot new. People still talk. Some people have the same harassments, aggressions, and ridicule. I remain unmoved and unchanged. People may eventually get over themselves or may have a contest of stamina and consider themselves winners. The fight is no longer about the subject or accuracy, it is just competition of stamina. When with lord of the flies, competition will always be ridiculous and illogical. Waiting to be rescued or for people to get over themselves. I really don't want to even challenge with accuracy because it is another excuse for a person to feel entitled to be possessive.