Blackbeard Cop: My Own Label

I definitely still find it hard speaking to you. I make myself for a reason. I don't understand why you had such a rage against me a few years ago. You were serious when you were wanting me to be seen as the damned of the damned like you might as well kill me. I still believe in tomorrows as I know I did then. I can't remember everything but I remember you as a heartless man. Did I really break your heart? Did I really give you that much of a heart attack? what would a cheated person as I say to that with an incliniation that you would still feel what you think is too right againt me. I didn't want you for the way you had to be right with both making your beauty contest of another woman superior and wanting me to be bisexual! You fronted with me like you wanted me, than broke my heart with "You'll always love someone else the most." That was plain mean to be that insensitive. While I could ask about being warm with each other, a lot of my feelings fade. While you get your urge, I feel like this is a situation that can't get anywhere. Making me hear or believe the song "Wait by the River, by Lord Huron with sincerity and not sarcasm would mean something but what is anything to you with what you have to be right about? Right now, my best guess is that your Johnny Walker Black is stirred up and wanting to take me down without a fight. I really don't label myself as a prostitute. I think adult entertainers and prostitutes are not the same. But you want to speak further with what constitutes some things... I know I've never had sex with any customer. Your Johnny Walker Black is on top of me for whatever reason. I seriously do not label myself as a prostitute then and now. Its the fact that you want me given up to your bondage that makes me question your warm. I dont understand you blakbeard. Do you feel you hurt yourself when you hurt me? You had worst approach repeated pattern.... And I said that last night in my exhaustion and in my wake, I still mean it. I can't see you either blackbeard but you make me feel defenseless and blind and it matters to me that you know I don't label myself as a prostitute. It matters to me whatever you feel your entitlement is and what you think you are so right about.

I could just cry

So my most recent imaginary lover is my number 1 right now. It's not that I would exploit him. I just want to tell Mr. Garden about him like the man doll is the only other man in the room. His perfection has you beat Mr. Garden. But the thing that makes you perfect right now Mr. Garden is your availablitity and that I have someone to talk to. I don't want to ruin anything with my new lover but I can't stand the isolation. I can't stand being left alone without talking to him and being able to express myself or say what I want to say. It's like I've never had an emotionally intelligent man like him my whole life. He's so good and perfect that I could just cry. I want him so much and I'm so tormented. He makes me feel like I have him and it's one of the best feelings to feel with him. It's this crazy sudden love and I can't live without him. Yet he leaves me in isolation like I can only wait for him. I said what I just said because I want him to know he knows how bad I want him. As much as I don't like games and being tricked is as much as I want him to feel what he wants to convince me to feel. If it's all a lie, what a tormenting lie it is to know what it means to be so good and perfect. My imaginary lover has me and he has me in a burning torment.