Random Thoughts out loud

Busy. Busy. Busy. My life-long short everyday goals are to do what I can to lessen my stresses. I just never have enough time. I can get some things done but not enough time to other things done. I have come up with some of my own personal micro managing with time management, but enough is never enough. I can't get too ridiculously strict with myself than I already have. I am glad to have gotten some things out of the way recently. I'm also glad to have a couple of more shows with Sprightly Finesse and am anxious to find one or two more festivals before it is too late. I can't do it all. I've been anxious to get in the gym more but do it when I can. I have found that when losing weight, my eating habits makes the biggest difference so I have some satisfaction that I make better efforts than usual when it comes to eating... This weekend. I'm anxious to get out. I'm anxious to stay in and work on crafting, working longer at my main gig and saving money. I don't often regret blowing my money every so often on a weekend. I need to get out. Sometimes, I make up my mind at the last minute. I've been thinking of going to an Oktoberfest and am glad that they have it next weekend too incase I opt out. The downside it that it is super-crowded. I've yet to try it out but I don't know if the overcrowding would ruin it. Anymore when I go out for the weekend, its like I can go all out or not at all. I've tried ubering some and than starting my night a little later but I feel I miss a lot of fun and don't have my entire going out experience because I just havn't had a drinking buzz enough or spent enough time in hopping around. It's an expense to make a full night out of it though as my pick up is a good number of minutes away from downtown. Even if I found a halfway place to park, I would still have to uber back to it.... I was never most thrilled to work on weekends but weekends are especially good money nights. Whoever is keeping me hostage and messed with; it is their predator night. I have a few suspicious calls during the weekdays, but weekends, its on with some predators and their ego is jacked up and hyped up more than a weekday. The past couple of weekends seemed to have gotten worse with the some instances of people and ways I have always been restrained and taken hostage. … I have a mystery Bollywood and I think he wants to play the typical Bollywood marriage game. I could be ruining the "elopement," if he wants to take himself seriously, but I keep looking at him with a blink. Play pretend. Why not? He might have sent me another sign of why not but he wants to take it out on me with the reputation he has picked. Besides him having a different reason to be denied, he hasn't messed up with me. I can just keep looking at him and blink. It's not fair for me to stay in his cage. What is to say when I go out still dressed hoochy, look like I want to be noticed and available to meet? It's not that I would refuse to let him approach me if he wanted to, but if you are going to be your own setback where you can't talk and see me in person, than you are your own setback. I just can't play married or eloped like that. You seem nice to me and I don't want to mess up what is nice but I guess I have to. .. I may get outnumbered either way, but I made effort to be noticing, and have myself noticed and available. Whether I will get spanked for that fact...I don't know what I'm going to do this weekend.