New Years Shnew Years

Today was a bad day and a worse one for someone else. I got into my 3rd car accident in my entire life and it was such a serious scare. I was at a stop sign and was stopped and had looked both ways. I crossed the intersection and was T-boned. I think it was like a 25mph speed limit, and this guy sure seemed like he was going faster and I don't think this guy even slammed on his breaks. I don't mean to insinuate too much by that statement but he must not have been alert enough. While it made my car do a 180; the only damage done to my car was that the left passenger's side was banged up at the bottom. His front end was damaged and looked like it could have been totaled. All he said was his own cut throat "it is what it is." He showed that he was upset about it, but I would rather hear that than him cuss at me or want to get into some kind of violent argument with me. (He was a big guy wearing some kind of muscle shirt). I hate hearing "it is what it is" from anyone. It is a person wanting to make the most dominate and definite statement of something is what it is. I had a very quiet way of telling him that he looked like he was going fast and that I was stopped and looked both ways, but all he said was "it is what it is." I'll leave it to my insurance guy is where I will leave it. We were both fortunate to not have suffered any injuries but I was extremely shaken and had to grab my knees when I got out of the car. I thought for sure that my car could have been totaled when I did the 180 and heard the loud crash. It was the sound of the other guy's car. My car was drivable and I spent the rest of the day working as I had originally planned. ………….. I just got home not long ago and had a couple of other trip ups to my day. I hate how the parental settings are set with my daughter's kindle. It is kind of like an all or nothing capability. What is the point in putting the settings on when she can hardly do anything with the settings on? With them off she continues to buy videos and video games which she told me earlier everything was "free." I look in my email and bank account later and realize that everything wasn't free and will probably blame her cousin tomorrow when I yell at her over it. This isn't the first incident. …. I'm not liking the signs online today with my birthday fling I had over the weekend. Someone wants to make it look like he wants to threaten me with him having a moment of gayness which looks recent. We were sending a few texts earlier so if he is an enemy, he'd be a two-faced one. If I do get too bad of a feeling or hunch, than I will, but until then everything is still in the air with how much of a one night stand or potential relationship he is. He still wants to wine and dine me. I won't talk about it much further and leave it in the air. …. 35. I can't get over that in 5 more years I will be 40 years old. I don't think I can handle being 40. I just won't be able to handle it and the fear of being that old will seep in. Besides the middle age and fear of death; it is so much more different for a woman than a man. It will always be easier for men to have the younger women and better luck at relationships at that age. While I still struggle with having some desperation; I can only be forced into more desperation as years go by. My singleness has already kept me damaged and scarred in its own ways. ….. The new years eve night wasn't so bad. Other than my daughter throwing a bad tantrum for some of the night; I was so happy that my niece and nephew were over and got to get together and do things as a family. It was mostly a good new years eve. It sucked that it rained but at least it wasn't extremely cold. Pittsburgh had a very nice display downtown. I loved to get them out. Hopefully tomorrow will be a much better day.