secrets secrets

can't completely ball gag me Travis, but I'm more quiet than not. There is still a lot to wonder about with you, another "Tell me baby what' your story song." What has been entirely going on with you? Although there is no mystery in some ways, there is still mystery in others. .... While you could be typical in wanting to have some threats in some ways, you really don't seem the psychotically judgmental type. I do see a lot of people as terrible judges of character and savage at that. It was a form of barbarianism and "domination games." I do think Sam is a judgmental psycho and "Me Before you," is in my queue to be watched soon. Can't save it much later for a rainy day anymore, but I would be curious to know what your real outlook is with the role plays and how that story plays in with the rest of your entire story...While you can call me out with being a little defensive and not thinking I can take you, I'm not out for my ego too much or to make a tough man contest out of it. I know I can beat some Don Drapers off me in due time, but it takes a lot of screaming and some trials and tests of time. I've been around the block a bit with my Drapers and understand the ways I can't win. Not only are you a Draper, but you're married with a Utah polygamy label on you. You seem pretty impossible, improbable, and more chanceless compared to other Drapers. I know you've beat me with love in a couple of ways a few times and it's still a little tormenting for you to lead me on in your improbabilities. I seriously think you're nice Travis. I would hope that some savage barbaric judgment of yours is something you don't take seriously, believe in, or think you have me beat with. I think I get where it is you want to go in your barbarianism and it isn't that you use it in the worst way when you do seduce me. You leave me with a paranoia that I could have some knives in my back. You could be wanting to rob me like David and wanting to make a distorted look out of me: I'm not living in my real truth. Besides only time knowing something; I don't have much else to say in my drama. I don't know what else to say right now. I wonder for more of your info but I don't know what to say to you. It's not always the same exact repeat but I don't think we're going anywhere. ..... There is more I could say, but it's mostly silence from me. ...

Is there more than the burn?

Last night came as a surprise to me. I thought you were mostly fading, but it's not over with you. What my main guesses with you are: You are raging horny for me because of: recent provocations; sexual jealousy of wanting to be my master; you wanting to use any and all (even in some unfair ways) of my sexual "transgressions" to condemn me to your sexual lust. It is one excuse of yours. I loudly hear "you know you are a horny perv bitch!" I still claim myself as Jack's slave if I'm going to be any man's slave. It is clear to me that there are some ways I can't save myself from you, and while you have recognized my Pamela, you should also recognize how much I believe in mind over matter. I have some truths about me that won't be stopped. I may not always mean to provoke you or make you burn the way you burn. You shouldn't use my job as a stripper too much against me. I know the other things you want to use... I don't know what else to say to you Travis... I don't know if you mean to make a sexual fling of me, or if you seriously want me to be whatever numbereth of a wife? You want to use my breaking heart against me to force into a baby mama to blackmail into another wife? What are your real intentions Travis? What are you out to do? Are you just over taken by the way I make you burn, or are you out for something else? Talk to me. Is it that your marriage has gone bad? Did your wife become a lesbian? Are you fixated on being primarily taken by me, or am I a burning fling? Travis, what is going on with you? You should tell me more about yourself.