Happy and Sad

My trip has been good thus far. I slept like a baby last night. .... I wish I could have done more today, but the shopping will go for tomorrow while I spend for the party night. The bands I saw at Third Records weren't bad. I think they were a little on the hardcore side for my rock taste but not too bad. I never got to meet Jack White :( I might have seen him upstairs in the sound room, but I never got to personally meet him. Odds are, if I don't meet him at his own record store, I probably won't meet him anywhere else. I'm a little upset. Maybe I did pluck some of his cords with his recent posted song with "City Lights," but I'm not sure about the odds of that either. I'm going to go out and have some fun anyway. There seriously is a restaurant here called "Jack Lives Here," that I will go to on purpose later. I know I've been against structures, codes, and code talking, but sometimes I seriously don't mind the shits and giggles of it all. I sometimes get bothered to this day with over assumptive code talkers but it isn't as bad as it used to be. .... I've listened more to both of my new cds and I'm glad that I can like both of them. "Three Women," was such a cannon blast against my trip, but I still have my sign with the Dead Weather. For the sake of not feeling ignored and for the sake of monogamy and traditional wedding vows. lol Some people have no idea with just how much my will to be in peace of my personal will to live is fucked with and out to be destroyed. "Three Women," was such a terrible song to have run into. Yes Jack, shame on you and you have no right. Lordy Lordy Lord. As long as I'm included anyway. If I weren't included, its whatever they would ACTUALLY let you get away with..... Nashville is such a fun place. I wish I could have gotten out more around Nashville while here, but so little time and so much to have done. I have tomorrow left and I plan on mostly shopping then. Not sure if I'll be arriving at the airport drunk or not, but I plan to finish with more time well spent.

For the sake of time and my 2 cents: Californication

Before I get into my 2 cents of what I think about "Californication," I plan on staying on top of "As the Sarah Turns." Things have still gone sour with David and I. I want it to stay done and I don't want him to play anymore of his games with me. Whatever he noticed me for, and why ever he would go for me knowing the things he should have known?... It's not worth it to wonder about anymore. It isn't that I could completely reduce him to nothing; he should have been smarter with his own bullshit. Besides his sexuality he still has some personal appeal, but enough isn't enough for me to be able to care. .............. My 2 cents of Californication.. I didn't like the character of Hank at all. He's a lot like Charlie Sheen in 2 and a half men, but with a more severe bad boy rating. He makes Charlie Sheen look like, I don't know, someone more innocent. This is why I would assume that David and Charlie really do have a sad share.... In the beginning of the series, one of the biggest ordeals was "Fucking and Punching," and lasted until the half of all of the seasons. While it was a one time one night stand, and especially after finding out about Mia's real age, what was he thinking when he wrote the novel to begin with? Although she intelligently wrecked the book and the success of the book, how could Hank overlook the serious action that it was in writing the book? This isn't a short story, it is a novel, and a novel that he wanted to publish. How much of a lead on to her was that? How much of his own trap and blackmail was it too? It was a Stockholm in its own right. It was her own sanity to have wanted to take it for her own and want to stay in control. While so many people only noticed the fact that they never had sex again, it seemed most failed to notice how big of an action it was for him to have written the novel and want to publish it. ... Duchovny really does mention in some of his interviews how much he hated "Hank," but what was the real reality of Hank? While he supposedly had an affair with one woman during the time he was officially married, and also identified as a sex addict, how far did David really go in his sex addiction? Is it anything that would ever go away? In so many media messages of past; he really seems to be his own full-fledged "Hank." While David and Hank both seem opinionated in their own right, they're pretty dominate with their opinions and wanting to prove something. I think they're both an emotional disgust who have a sick excuse to act like they care. He is so emotionally insensitive and disrespectful and just doesn't think. Most men do seem to be very egotistical where it has always mattered more to sleep around and "live the life," than to keep their dick in their pants and learn self control. He always did a very poor job in wanting to prove to Karen his love and how serious he was for her. I feel I could have joined their pity party at one time, but I'm not going to go there in wanting to identify. I don't want to identify with Adlon either and feel I cold have been made up for whatever reason. Maybe I was made up just so Jon Stewart could be made fun of in the end for all the times he ripped on me. They made me look like a fellow fascist who still never proved my real points. But if I was being thrown on their bandwagon; who, what, when, where, why would he pick me up and put me on? I'm still not liking the idea of making it look like John A. and I were in a relationship like that either. ..... I almost believed that when David ended his short joy ride with his band and came back to Karen, they would have been more official. He never knew what it meant to wait on her. He never understood that he was still cheating on her anyway. He makes a major choice and doesn't know how to be in it for the long haul. Maybe Karen wouldn't have immediately taken him back when he first knocks on her door, but if he would have stayed persistent, a little bit of a beggar, and a little more emotionally attentive, she might have eventually warmed up to him. I think her embarrassment is the same as mine: there was no mature relationship about it. She says "no" or something doesn't go his way, and then he goes running around looking for whatever easier woman he could find or was available. There was no trying, waiting, or commitment on his end. Like a lot of egotistical men, he seemed to try too hard that he was never going to be pussy whipped for any woman, just a manwhore: he'll fuck whoever he wants, whenever he wants. He was a typical man who tries to be "free" while wanting to act like he is serious about someone the same time. Some people aren't smart enough to try to have a real point to prove. Hank was always going to set himself up to fuck or get fucked in one way or another. Hank was always his own harder worked self enabler. There was no avoidance. There was no thinking that: this could be a situation where one thing could lead to another." The heartlessness was what was "right" for him. Even when it was consensually casual, there was always someone else he could have wanted to be more serious with, or have personally cared for. He always had THE WORST "Fuck any and all consequences," outlook. So, I have a little rant. Some 2 cents in my personal experiences with some men sometimes and my final thoughts and observations of the show......